Huh?
What are you telling me?
No
No
Um
Can I go?
Lets fight it.
Lets call Jan and fight this thing together like the old days.
Did you start the paperwork yet?
You dont have to do this
Undo it!
No
Michael
Fine. Fire someone else. Fire Devon. Hes terrible. I am so much better at my job than Devon.
No
Listen
Uh
Thats from me.
I dont know. It was so long ago.
Yep. Thats exactly what happened.
Oh
When I was a teenager
Oh ho! Which one is Pam?
Oh
Oh
Hi guys. Somebody makin soup?
What did you hit me for?
What?
You shouldnt have hit me
Who do you think did it?
Really? I thought you.
Sure. He hired me. Hows he doing?
I thought you might.
Michael
Ryan!
Jimmy
Id send you to Hong Kong.
Like to say Hi to my friends in China.
That is correct.
Hi kids.
Have you ever seen a foot with four toes?
Th-the hair covers it
That is Northern Lights Cannabis Indica.
Great.
Then why is there a picture of a white man on the door?  Michael
I know exactly what hes talking about. I sprout mung beans on a damp paper towel in my desk drawer. Very nutritious. But they smell like death.
Theres a great soup kitchen in downtown Scranton. Delicious pea soup on Thursdays. Ill probably give the money to them.
Who has AIDS?
Oh
Thanks. I never owned a refrigerator.
: Im not offended by homosexuality. In the sixties I made love to many many women
Theres my girl. I noticed you handing out some shekels. How would one get on that train?
Andreas the office bitch. Youll get used to her.   Creed.
Im just looking.
In a minute.
Its a real shame about Ed
About what?
Ed was decapitated.
He was drunk as a skunk
You know a human can go on living for several hours after being decapitated.
What did I say?
I have. Thats the Union of the Monkey.
Ditto that
Right place at the right time.
Baby. Hello baby. Here you want to play with this?
Oh
Thats crazy. Its crazy.
And a happy holiday to you.
Spinnin n reelin with love. Give it the time
Oh... Where did you get this stuff?
Which aisle?
Well
Sure.
Okay.
What size?
Animals cant feel pain.
Good night
Hey! What are you guys doing here?
I run a small fake ID company from my car with a laminating machine I swiped from the sheriffs station.
Heres the $40 you gave me.
In a way you did.
I remember it was very late at night
Hey!
Hello.
Hey
Here.
Every week Im supposed to take four hours and do a quality spot-check at the paper mill. And of course the one year I blow it off
Yes
The only difference between me and a homeless man is this job. I will do whatever it takes to survive. Like I did... when I was a homeless man.
When I went over Wednesday
Now Im told she told her manager she had the flu. Im a trusting guy
Got a farewell card for Debbie Brown. I thought maybe youd like to sign it. Maybe throw a couple of bucks in there for her. Shes got some children.
I feel terrible about Debbie Brown. She got fired because of Dwight. So I thought Id pass around a goodbye card
The guy was just hanging brain. I mean
If thats flashing
Are we still discussing this? I say again
What are you doing in here? This is the womens room.
I pay for that privilege.
Im a pretty normal guy. I do one weird thing. I like to go in the womens room for number two. Ive been caught several times and I have paid dearly.
Nobody told me we were going to have hot dogs!
On the go thats after three.
I remember. I blogged the whole thing.
www.creedthoughts.gov.www/creedthoughts. Check it out.
I find it offensive. Au natural
Oh really
Oh.
Ive been involved in a number of cults
Creed Bratton
82 November first. How much is the prize money?
What
Thats my boss! Yeah-ha baby!
Creed
Thanks.
Thats some fun stuff. When does the website go up?
Cool beans.
Were screwed.
Us? You and me. The old timers.
Youre over 40
Yes
Everythings cool
Im thirty. Well
Because theyre lame.
Hey brah
Michael is right. Its a made-up word used to trick students.
Hey cuz
Listen
Creed Bratton has never declared bankruptcy. When Creed Bratton gets in trouble
You dont go by Monopoly man
Bankruptcy
Exactly.
Shes crazy hot.
Get her Phyll.
Jim.
I hate devils food.
Screw Meredith
Today is actually my birthday and I want to pick the cake.
I want pie. I want peach pie.
I want a nice cobbler.
I dont care who you talk to. Just make it happen.
You tell her its for Creed. Shell know what that means.
Listen
Yeah.
Nothing! Nothing going on. Were talking about nothing. Cmon gang.
Well nobodys touching my cobbler.
Yo
Daat!
When Pam gets Michaels old chair
I dont get the big fuss here
Hank
A lot of jazz cats are blind
Yeah
Hiya Pumpkin
Say
Are you out?   Pumpkins out
The pleasures all mine.
Any time.
...Excuse me.
What is wrong with this woman? Shes asking about stuff thats nobodys business. What do I do?... Really
Hey
Its the temp!
Mm-hmm.
Sup?
Just boardin
Oh
To look younger
Suit yourself. But
I go to New York all the time
Cambodia. You?
Lets do this thing.  Creed loses the first point
Were not playing strip pong?   Okay.
I gave Toby my buddy Jorges number in Costa. Hell hook Toby up with everything: cable TV
I can bring these to my shelter.
Fright. Being scared to death.
Oh nothing.
That wasnt a tapeworm.
Hell of an ass.
The tall guy got engaged.
Must be like the tide at Omaha Beach.
Ugh.
Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name?   Creed Bratton.
Yeah
Lets put a smile on that face!
Its pronounced Ker-nell. Its the highest rank in the military.
One more week.
Cool beans
Just pretend like were talking until the cops leave.
The balls on you
I can get you one in an hour.
You are welcome.
Yeah.
Ah
You were in the parking lot earlier. Thats how I know you.
He has no wallet
Give it up
Whats a text?
This gal
All right
Have I ever steered you wrong
Id like to contribute.
There you go.
For a cat? I could get you a kid for that.
Bonnie Hunt is on.
Thats not why.
Good work
I think its 75 cents.
Oh
These are terrible boss. You gotta make them in a circle so that they cook evenly.
Well I dont even want these.
Its crazy whats going on out there today
Sometimes its best just to say out of it.
Want to play a game?
No. IF you do that
You dont want to do that.
So hey
I thought you were gay.
I dont know.
Challenge.
I hear it
Boss
No problem. Ill just have no idea whos driving behind me now.
Hey
If I cant scuba
I heard that from... Andy.
Come on
How far along?
Whos the OB/GYN?
Theyve been in there a while.
Cant be good.
Think theyre talking about me?
Yeah
Hey
Yes.
Yep.
Uh
Shes messed up man...
I want to sell your blood!
Hey
Oh
Thank God.
Somethings up. That paper was never supposed to arrive.
Sorry Im late
OK. Hang on just a second. Let me just settle in and Ill be right back.
I dont know
Guys
What if youve been bad?
What if youve been really
Have you tried making everything smaller?
Have fun!
Oh
You ever notice you can ooze two things : sexuality and pus. Man
Psst...  Creed walks by Andy and draws his right index finger across his neck
So there I am
Curve the bullet. Like in my favorite James McAvoy film
Uh
Are you gonna add any more?
He dont give an F about nothin!
Im very relieved to learn it wasnt you.
I think we all can agree that its either Gabe or Angela.   Its Angela. Get her
I have never seen anything like it. It has the right arm of Lizzie Borden
You got Creed.
I couldnt care less about nepotism. But
Hes been trashing us relentlessly on Twitter. Yeah
Everywhere I look its Betty White this and Betty White that. Finally a kid thats not talking about Betty White. Of course I follow him.
We should start our own mall!
Unfortunately
Be cool
The feeling of pure risk.
Its thrilling.
Well
Youre welcome.
Hey
Hey hey hey
Best Edward James Olmos costume Ive ever seen. Like
Beleniege!
HI mahhhh. Boo yowww. Gunjo! Ooh uncow!
Hey! Puck and Finn worked it out
No.
Hey
How far can you reach those Lovely long arms of yours?   Eh
Were working.
Pirate code
I understand it
Shes one sassy black lady.
I know. Isnt it something?
For me?
Thank you very much.
I want to do a cartwheel. But real casual-like. Not make a big deal about it. But I know everybody saw it. Just one stunning
Im having a little trouble motivating.
Well
My tombstones already made
You think?
I dont think Im there yet
you!   you! God!
Mmmhm.
Yes
I really appreciate it
I did it!
The perfect cartwheel.
What a rush! Thats all I had to do all year.
Creed! Ha!
Two eyes
The one where you start in a crouches position
Thanks mom.
I watch you when you sleep.
Not cool man.
See ya tomorrow boss!
He put some snacks in the freezer for us.
No. The blueberry Slurpee pouch.
drives up to the entrance of the building
Do I love being manager?... I love my kids. I love real estate.   I love ceramics. I love my job. I-I love wrestling.
Find out what language this is.
Okay
pointing at a whiteboard with BOBODDY written on the left side
Were making acronyms. Okay! What does the first B stand for?
I like it! Business! Good
First of all
Okay I already see one
Get me our biggest client on the phone
Its Creed. FYI
Hehehe
All right
You remind me so much of my fourth-biggest client.
I think you two should meet.
Hey Jordana! Patch my ninth- and fourth-biggest clients together.
Its Kismet!
I already won the lottery. I was born in the US of A
No...
You dont live as long as I have without a healthy fear of snakes
Oh my goodness.
Who said that?
Howd I get this long triangle?
No. No. No. Youre way off on that one.
Okay. What about your friend?
Thats great. When you know you know. Hey
Whoa. We got a real Clarence Thomas here.
Lets reverse engineer this. Youre a black singer. Where do you go? Somewhere where youre a novelty. Alaska?
Usually Im a burrito guy
Hey
Let me have a turn.
All right.
Im out.
I like it. Its so peaceful
Ah

Hi
opens box
Touch me and Ill sue.
Everybody get comfy now. This first songs over a half hour long.
Best gig ever. They asked me to play only originals. I said
We hate Pam. We hate Pam.
Jinx. Buy me some Coke.
Havent heard any complaints. Wouldnt care if I did.
Well
Yeah
Good
In the parking lot today there was a circus. The copier did tricks on the high-wire
A wheel wants to spin
I know you dont really exist.
I wanna work with
The Taliban is the worst. Great heroine
Im getting older. Im losing my hair...
Thanks. Playing a little hookey from work today....Oh my god.
What?
Me neither.
Its Halloween. That is really
Yeah. Thats what she said.
Yeah
I miss Clinton.
Lets find out what I did.
Remember
You did good. You did good.
Tapas swiss miss.
Spanish tapas
Bald people make me sick.
Hey
Oh God. Stuck with the weirdo.
Im sorry
Im sure itll turn up.
I saw the leaves twitch!
You shut up!
Lets try it out.
Night
Uh
Thats kinda uncool
Its not cool.
Hey Erin
Shes looking good.
New glasses.
$3.75 a cupcake
I never forget a number. Names? In one ear and out the other. Places? Nope. Faces? Thats rich. But
Wesley Silvers gay?
They make a nice couple.
Two grand huh? I know a guy who can turn that into eight hundred dollars. And its me.
I think just anybody could be a star. My postman
Creed Bratton is the new manager!
Oh
This airs tonight? Oh my god. If my parents see this
Hey
Ok
Jeff Bomondo. I sell ceramic tile out of Newark.
My wifes name is Kathryn. I can show you my social security card if it helps.
Uh..ohh!
I saw a friend today. It had been a while. And we forgot each others names. But it didnt matter. ‘Cause deep inside the feeling still remained the same...
I still have my medal from that.
No
And all the faces that I know have that same familiar glow. I think I must have known them somewhere once before.
It all seems so very arbitrary. I applied for a job at this company because they were hiring. I took a desk at the back because it was empty. But...  no matter how you get there or where you end up
