Its not my real name.
Darryl Philbin. Then Regis
Were loading at one.
No
All right
Just getting a tea bag.
Why dont we make it more interesting? Loser buys dinner at Farleys.
No
Youre on.
Here we go. Here we go. Here we go.
You have one more free throw shoot. Come on.
Block
Take your shot man!
That was you.
Yeah
Hey lets go to Poor Richards.
Like a joke? A knock-knock joke?
Well
Man
I think he feels bad.
Hiding from his momma.
Oh
Yes
You remember? Yes!
Yes!   Right here. You are a naughty girl!
Come on
Yeah.
Yeah
Who cares?
Oh
I had to. I needed defense.
Its defense.
It is worth it.
Are you kidding? You wait.
Thats okay
All right. Thanks
How about the sales department is the sails?
What?
Thats what Im talking about!
What... Whats that? Whatcha doing?
That was definitely not dancing.
Paper business.
My biggest fear is that someone will distract us from getting all the shipments out on time.
Hey
The experience...
Its dangerous
Mike.
Mike. Get off of the lift. Please. Come on now.
Look
Were the ones that got to clean that up!
My priority is safety.
So it really bothers me when somebody comes in here speeding around on a lift
Uh uh uh. Dont shush me.
That bothers me too.
I hate that too.
No
You say were the same
We work the same hours as you and you just said we work a lot harder
But we get paid a lot less.
You know this would not happen if we had a union.
Thats what we need.
Man
Its more than necessary
Man
Union! Union
Are you with us Mike?
Welcome to the warehouse.
This is not a good idea right here.
Hey Michael. This aint over.
Checkin in with Chet. Dopplers up.
Mike
Except my warehouse.
We just have a lot of stuff down there that could be stolen.
What?
Why? Cause Im from the hood?
Dinkin flicka.
I taught Mike some
Oh
Hey Mike.
Look
I wasnt.
Actually
Hang on little ladies. You dont need this thing
Hey. Hey
All right. Se you later...
All right
Yup.
Uh huh.
Yup.
Mike
Oh
You ready for me?
Cool.
Okay.
Okay
Are you wearin lady clothes?
Are you wearin lady clothes? Those look like lady... pants.
That theres a womans suit.
Ima call Roy
This is gonna make him feel better.
This is too good.
Yeah
Okay
Well
What? I cant hear you.
I cant--- what
Why cant I just... tell you?
There you go.
I am serious
Come on
Are you serious? Youre earning this?
Mike
Ho-ho!
Oh
Fourteen years. Fourteen. I know.   Ok
What?
Thats cause of you
Get your own raise. You gotta get out there and earn
Well
Yeah thats true. You gotta call your girl
Yeah
Fourteen years long.
Make it happen
Comfortable
How about you
Thank you.
I havent been to New York in a long time.
Maybe Ill stay overnight. Got a cousin lives down there.
Oh you could stay too. Hes got a big place.
Mm
Busses
Okay
Yes sir. Remember that. Ill be right outside if you need me
Yeah
Now
Should you drive the forklift?
No! No no no no no! I said should you. You should not drive it. You should not drive the forklift
Its not safe
Her. Yes
Do you understand that?
We do safety training every year
And I fell and busted my ankle. Im legitimately scared for my workers.
The baler can flatten a car engine. It can cut off your arm and crush your entire body without skipping a beat.
How many people a year do you think get their arms cut off in a baler?
Anybody wanna take a guess? Anybody?
Anybody?
Ten people
You have to be alert
These are very dangerous machines down here
Its not a trash compactor! Its a baler!
No do not touch it!
There is no occasion for you to go near this stuff
Take them at the same time.
Thank God we only had a baler to deal with.
Actually
Alright
Thats what Ive been trying to tell you
Mike
Yeah
A lot... of things. Uh
Mike
I couldnt do it. I--- I aint that strong. And I aint that brave.
Way braver! You Braveheart
Come down
Presbyterian.
Oh?
Alright!
Im giving him a peanut.
Look how happy he is.
Whats up man?
Make a delivery.
Kelly ordered this online.
Who knows?
Hey! How about instead of yelling at our sweet little Miss Kapoor over five hundred sheets of paper you get back to your desk. Start sellin multiple reams like a man.
Whos it?
Here you go.
So you still missing Ryan?
Mmmmm.
Theres information here? Yeah
Hey
I have plans later.
I have my daughter tonight  were renting Charlottes Web.
My daughter.
That was cold.
Hey
Its like she only wants to hook up when Ryan comes around. Its gotten to the point where I get excited every time I see that little dude walk through the door.
Hey
Slow down
Out of paper
Dunder Mifflin.
Dunder Mifflin.
Whats rap?
Great.
Out of paper
Dunder Mifflin.
Youre right
Youre on your own
You just said you hated it.
Game
19
Yes.
Mike.
Im very busy here
Why?
No
No
Both.
Yeah them
Newsies.
Oh my goodness.
Well see
Thats when somebody really gets in your face
Yeah
Well
Hey
Like what?
Figured I look presentable.   You?   Went a different way.
What college did you go to Mike?
Show them what you brought
Yeah
Yeah.
Unh! Damn it!
No.
We got exposed wires up there. You can actually hear them sparking
Hey!
Bank loan? Whats your business plan?
Thats mad solid but
Cause
Come into my warehouse
I get a hundred up front plus another five-hundred more once I score the loan. Any other nervous sweaty people having money trouble
If you hear words coming out of your mouth... thats your signal.
So you enjoy ice cream.
I can tell by your perfume you are a woman of distinction.
Indeed you do have a vest of very high quality.
I want you to experience something now. Taste the ice cream.
Hi
Before you say another word
Look if you taste this and turn us down like a man
Its cool we dont even need yall. I sure my man has a back up plan.
Dont go breaking my scale.
2
All right
OK
2
Still good. You guys lost a pound. You lost one pound.
Well you lost zero pounds.   No change. On the bright side you gained zero pounds.
You guys lost four pounds.
I say we have a parade.
Two thousand one hundred seventy-five.   Sorry guys.
Whats up
You a baby daddy?
Hell yeah. You know why? Because that was my baby.
You should stop calling yourself baby daddy.
Because youre not a daddy
You feel connected to his baby over there?
You feel connected to this?
You want to hold me
No.
Mike gave me a list of his top ten Springsteen songs. Three of them were Huey Lewis and the News. One was Tracy Chapman
Hey Mike
Mike
Sold! To Jim.
She thought I was McNabb.
Yeah
Whats up
Oh
Hey! Do Not Touch My Radio.
Mike youll drive this every weekend?
This trip was longer than I thought.
Not really.
Four hours. Almost halfway there.
Next exit isnt for five miles.
Theres nothing out here man.
WHAT!?
Clever
leaving someone a message on his cell phone
Please call me back.
Please...
Theres another dolly in the truck
This is the last of it.
Youre not staying?
But you want me to put it back in the truck.
I know its hard Mike. Break-ups hurt.
Looked like it. Sometimes when Im down like this
Da na na na na... da na na na na...
Da na na na na. No
Thats when you hit me with whats getting you down
Da na na na na.
Da na na na na.
No
Da na na na na.
Da na na na na!!
Da na na na na .
Yeah! Da na na na na.
YEAH! Da na na na na.
I was there. That dude is not engaged. Im not a big believer in therapy
Yo.
Thanks man.
All right man
You can owe me.
I know
Something wrong with the doll?
Mike claims
Ok
Whats his name?
Roy left years ago. Whats his name?
Whats his name?
Nope. His name is Michael.
Start over.
Were the boxes near each other?
I put three pallets on the truck to Blue Cross once a week. They use a lot of paper.
Whatd I tell you about building forts in my warehouse?
I was rushing to fill an order. I put the ladder up to grab a box of three hole from the top shelf. Next thing I know
Yes.
This doesnt concern you man
If we were living in Sweden
Be quiet.
Thanks T-Man
Toby! Dwight! Is that them?
You come to my house
Why would you think a lady is me?
Heres what Im gonna do
Cmon Gwenneth.
Cool.
Stupidest thing Ive ever heard.
Alright
And Im telling them you guys sexually harassed my sister.
This is the spookiest warehouse in the world
Nobody told me what people were
Here is an old man and a goth dude... and then the old crone from Drag Me to Hell.
I asked for a list.  Dwight rides in on a tricycle
Youre not as scary as Book Face
Ok
What the hell is wrong with you?
Theres other pencils in this office.
Michael.
I know who did that.
Didnt have to see. It was sales. I can feel it. They are out of control.
Yes. All of em. Together. Its a conspiracy. Listen to me
You need to get back on top.
Yeah.
That sounds fun
I cant. You know that.
Hey
Thanks
Has that ever happened? Ever?
You want me to invite Matt?
Look
Happy hour. My pleasure.
So
Hey
Let me tell you something
Tell em your story
I brought those in. Its my birthday. Thats some stone-cold narcissism right there.
Thank you.
Yum
Sounds all right.
I didnt say aight.
I like the sound of this.   Maybe one day Ill be sitting in Michaels chair. Wouldnt that be something?
I got my whole life to be a minority executive. I only have about a year left in these knees
Curl up with your favorite DVD.
Wow. That dude is good.
You didnt feel like he was hiding something?
Like he was... covering something up? Maybe.
Two years ago
Close the door.
I dont have a plan exactly. More of a loose structure. Gives me freedom to improvise. Its like jazz.   Andy dont mess with me.   Ill figure something out.
Some freaky stuff going on. I was walking behind Gabe and I heard some things.
It was kind of mumbled
Whoa. I hadnt even thought of that.
Look
Glen
Its bad.
Its real bad.
Still no plan.
Its getting bigger.
I can videotape it.
There it is.
What?
You havent even introduced yourself.
You should talk in a higher voice cause the camera makes you sound weird.
Higher.
Mm-hmm
One more
This...
I dont wanna prank anymore. Things get real. Its not funny. Im just gonna be good
Probably shouldnt tell you this
A restful location. Talk to Glen. Hell take you up in the lift.
Lightbulbs burnt out
Pam.
Yeah
I think she could... sense my sadness
No.
All right
All right.
Michael
It says decaf. You get me decaf?
My summer
Hes got to go
Dont dont bother Luke. Got it.
Whats wrong with a level playing field?
Say stuff like
Im telling you how to do this man.
I saw a TLC show on Kate Walshs home office. All corkboard.
Right in here?
Hey
No
Shhh. If we dont listen to the overture
Hey!
Silent. Look
I had no idea. This plumber has pipes!
You didnt have to boo him.
How would you like it if we booed you?
Boo! Boo!
Boo! Boo!
Andy
Im sure they dont regret having their child
Condoms.
Ohh. Ok. I didnt realize we were doing trick questions. Whats the safest way to go skiing? Dont ski!
We should schedule meetings
I dont know whos got you upset but my advice is stop crying.
Look you need to pick yourself up. Man up
Yeah.
I have no idea what his problem is
Im very busy with time-sensitive work.
If you dont enter them immediately
Nah. I play for pleasure.
I wouldnt enjoy that.
Oh
How much?
Thats crazy money. Ill take forty.
One second
But youre singing it.
No
Oh
Songs about truth.
Whats something you really care about?
More universal.
Couldnt get outta bed today. Wish the alarm clock would go away.
Go ahead.
Which me am I gonna be today?
Oh
Yeah.
One
Ill be your croak monsieur.
I find you absolutely ribbiting!
Scoopity-splash!
Dracula.
Yes. I do remember saying something like that to you.
Im just glad were gonna try it out.
Yeah. Were cool.
Whats under your shirt?
Hello?
Im good.
This is embarrassing
Let me put my shoes on.  hangs up phone
Im not mad. Are you mad?
Well
Mike.
You made a bad call. And I fixed it. So Im not apologizing.
Thats it.
Yes.
No.
Youre gonna be missing out on some good ideas.
You said no to this one!
What have you done for me?
What have you done for me?
Ed Truck hired me. Jo promoted me. Gabe listened to me. All youve ever done is say no to me. I have ambition. And you kept me at the same level for years.
I dont understand the point of a hat.
Cool. Okay. Sorry I lied.
Sometimes it seems like it was better down in the warehouse
This was your freshman year.
No. I got some work to do. I do got big plans with this company.
We are hanging out-right now. You want some more of this?
I agree. I think its superb.
Hey Andy.
You gotta stop texting me so much.
You need to change your standard for whats worthy of a text. Ask yourself is this something Darryl needs to know. The answers almost always no.
No.
There was a time when the only people who texted you were people you wanted to text you. Girls. And theyd all say the same thing. Im coming over baby. And I would text back BTB
Are you watching this? Seriously?
Im sitting right here.
Megan Fox. Question mark. Whats that mean?
You know what
You accept these terms?
Come to parking lot. Crazy pigeon action?
Thats a text.
Thats your new standard.
Ill take one of those pink pouches.
I feel good today. My little girl Jada? Its my turn to have her for Christmas this year. Two years ago I had her
Come on
She did?
I dont know... I thought I was enough family for my daughter.
Dont come in
Uh
No. Thank you for your interest in my truck.
Hey...   You know what
I just
Jada dont want to spend Christmas with me. She told her mom it wasnt as much fun. And how could she say that? You know
Her mom wants me to take her to mass. I guess thats something to do.
How do I do that?
Are you serious?
No
Sure
Ohh
Maybe the grinch hid the Christmas star
And the games over seconds later.
What do you want
Hey
We wanted to give you something.
What do you say?
You know what you guys should do? Go to the bookstore at lunch. Theres tons of cuties and its easy to talk to them. Hey
Ill come with you
My resolution is to read more. And if someone else is driving me to the bookstore
I got that cutie behind the counter.
Whoa
Holy
Hey
Really?
Cool.
A book about oceans.
No
Whoa! Hold on.
Oh
Im telling you
What kind of chicks are you going to meet there?
Were going skating.
Sup?
To the arcade.
Why
Right on
Right.
Ahem!
Theyre a bunch of jackals.
They left you in the lurch
Whats it say?
And I will take you all down.
Ive been reading the comics to my daughter since she was three years old. Not once I have used the real captions to Family Circus. That crazy family is hilarious to her for one reason : me.
Gabe
Wrap it up
Send me one too.
You crushed our spirits
Dreaming hes a dog on a island.
Thinking about my grandmother a lot.
She was about to turn 97.
Thank you. Congratulations
Hooray. Live it up big D.  Days like this dont come often enough. Time to celebrate. You deserve this?

Rachel from the party?
Nice. Do the damn thing. - Pow!
Yeah
Obviously
That thing were you softly exhale on her neck.
Okay. Ill keep working.
I can hear you.
You got it. Pick it up. Take it out.
Pick it up.
Take it out. Pick it up. Pick it up. Pick it up. Take it out.
Make that face he likes.
We should play it.
Its Dallas the game
Well
And Im gonna play this here share the wealth card.
Which entitles me to half of both of yalls money so if you dont mind.
It was in the box.
Thank you.
Dallas indeed.
I told you were way past rules. We have been for some time now. We start having rules now
Yeah where is it?
Kind of embarassing.
Its cool that you like the southwest. Its one of my favorite regions.
Its one of my favorite regions? Did I just sound totally lame? No
I love the desert. Its one of my favorite ecosystems.
Finish the joke
So this is a ten-gallon hat
Cool
No
Mike
Damn that was cold.

Hey.
Thats sweet Mike. Lets see here. Theres a chapter
No. Cant let you do that Mike.
Seriously?
Snap
The winner : under Special Skills
Hey
Damn!
Daaamn! Mad respect for my brotha!
The man is paying me to take Chinese. I will say what I need to say
Do it!
Ill take him.
Whats wrong with you?
Yeah.
I was talking like this.   I dont feel good about it
Nine first.
Good morning.
Good morning.
I did.
I have a solid relationship with Jo
Thank you.
Think about it! What other mammal
So this is cool. I think we make a good fit.
Uh...   yes?! I was.   Little joke!
I thought that was your job.
Ill answer that
Whos that?
I... I just thought you knew me.
Let me...  Jim shows him the resume again
Yes
So
Hope its all right.
The guy who was in here earlier
Ehh
Yes. How did he do?
Come on man. Im being serious. Dont joke.
Yes
Paper material
Pieces of paper.
enters the office with his daughter
Maybe
Okay
Every day I have a blueberry muffin. Today
Im lifting.
Yeah
Apt. Apt analysis
Good times.
Its ok E-Dog
No no no no. I like her.
Nah man
Ill introduce you.
Yeah
rub a dub dub...I got scrubbed. ‘Sup
Follow me
A car parked in the sun is like a toaster oven.
Hey
Hello?....Justine!   Nice surprise! How you doin baby?....Nah. No no
When I worked in the warehouse
I dont know.
No.
I havent hired anyone.
Im not checkin email till lunch. Four hour work week.
I got it. Im doin it.
When did I get so fat?
I didnt hire anyone if thats why youre here.
I have a file of applicants here. I just gotta open it
The guys did invite me out to celebrate but I decided to just stay home. Eat a bunch of tacos in my basement.
I did. I did have a fantastic basement. Now it smells like tacos. You cant air out a basement and taco air is heavy. Settles at the lowest point.
You mean what did we do the last time the warehouse won the lottery?
Oh yeah.
One of em
I dont
Nope. Im good. Im here. Lets find some warehouse workers.
OK.
OK.
Yeah.
Why do you wanna work here?
Thats not a good reason.
Dont just take the first job that comes your way. Cause next thing you know
I hope so. Think about this carefully. Theres better lives than this one.
Ive never been lucky. And Im not talkin about the lottery
Did you hire em?
What do you mean they left?
Then I think you should fire me.
Yeah. Just put me out of my misery.
No? OK. I dont wanna be here anymore. Fire me.
Would you just fire me
You wanna make me happy? Huh?
Give me your job.
Ill do it better than you. I earned it. I deserve it. I got passed over
He died.
I didnt have time because of my daughter.
Hey Im not gonna tell you this stuff if you gonna throw it back in my face.
OK.
OK
My futures not gonna be determined by seven little white lotto balls. Its gonna be determined by two big black balls. I control my destiny. I do.
I put some guys on tonight. Best of your bunch and my bunch. Tell you now though
Why is the forklift in the wall?
Is that grease on my floor?
And did your brains tell you to ruin these boxes with grease?
And?
Let me see it.
Let me see it!
What happens when were done chewing? Do we spit it out on the floor
Theres a grill in the warehouse I could bring.
Ive seen this
Yeah
I think if I had parents like that Id be trying to convince everyone all the time how great I was
Rosebud?
I know Citizen Kane. Rosebud didnt explain why he was how he was
No. Youre wrong.
Cheeseburger or hamburger.
Put it on
Three Kings.
This partys tight. The fog is cool.
Perfect.
I just dont get it
Dwight?
Dwight.
Dwight!
in the bathroom with Robert  Yeah
Nahh!   No. Not Justine. Never Justine.
Oh yeah.
Ahh...We dont really do those. We just sign the thing.
Ill be there.
Its not a race.
Who knows what the belt is for?
Apparently we have a visitor. Gabe
All right so the support belt. Now this one is mine. Doesnt get much use nowadays.
You done?
Once you read the packet
Actually
Mmhmm.   Caramel soy latte.
Got it.
Yeah
Good policy. Sensible. Smart.
Its Darryl. Erin told me to pretend to be a cop and say your mom died.
Dude.
Look man this is a bad idea.
Really? That is messed up man.
Youre a bad man Andy Bernard.
That stuff can come back to get you. Its called karma. You do not want to be messing around. I got an uncle...
What are you doing with my lunch?
Its not pizza.
I like the sound of that. Is Kevin in?
Nice scatting
That was never agreed upon.
Again
Usually that life is short and tragic. Thats okay
Local musician? Local legend! I used to come hear you play every week at the Deerhead.
Hey
Seriously
Hey
What
Yeah
Yeah they kind of had a specific sound that didnt really fit in with our thing.
No man
No
Every day.
You know
J-j-j-ju...
Shh! Movies almost over.
I got Source Code on the way back.
Thats fascinating. Tell me
Hunger for hamburger.
Thats good.
Andy
Hey.
Back at the bus. We were locked out. Phyllis is sitting on the ground eating a dirty sandwich.
I hate myself.
Hey man.
Taking a load off huh?
Good luck with that.
You dont have to say it if youre doing it.
Uh weight lifting yeah.
Ill take a look.
Ive been meaning to join a gym.   For my health. I used to say I wanted to live long enough to see a black President. I didnt realize how easy that would be. So now I want to live long enough to see a really
Um no. This is not a gym. This is like a scene out of Saw 5.
Obviously you know how a gym works. So you know Im not going to pay money for this. You want people to come to your gym? Make a real gym.
Make a real gym.
Getting my sweat on.
I just did
No.
Dude
Its Lejon Brames.
You know
Yeah
Okay
Looks that way.
This doesnt help me. I dont respond to that kind of strategy.
Dwight
To push this bar up.
Help me!
To look good for Val!
This thing could take your arm off
Alright.
Oh yeah
Popsicles?
Well you should definitely come. The foreman always comes. Plus its fun
Oh
I meant dressed up compared to normal. You usually dress like a ghost-buster.
I thought youd wear a sweater.
Come on
Hi.
Check out this song I wrote: Ima love you downstairs tonight...
Im in.
Its trivia.
Thats a great plan.
You just made a good idea
What?
There were times on the two and a half hour drive when I experienced doubt. Thats the thing about long drives
Yes
Chill
Yeah
Val. You made it.
Uh oh
Mmm.
You know
Yeah
Ive been working out. But
Hey Val. Want a beer? It might taste better than that pool water youve been drinking.
Cool.
Cannonball!   Lets do this!
Why?
Would it be more hilarious than Angela having a Chinese baby?
Jim
Its all good
I have a kid. Last week
What do we have here?
Val knit me a beanie. But I cant if its a were just friends beanie or a Im hot
Notice anything different about me?
Super comfortable. Like sweatpants for my head.
Wow. Its like the nation of Islam down here.
Oh
Yeah.
Hey.
No
Just a hunch. Your gift is on the way.
This is Darryl.
Your girlfriend? Is your girlfriend Val?
Were friends. Were friends.
Yeah sorry
Back off! I got my reasons.
Hey whats up? You called?
Its cool really.
This coupon entitles you to one free tickle monster attack
Thanks.   Nice flowers.
Your mom?
Uh. So I guess that was your mom who called me earlier looking for the address? Real deep voiced woman?
She said her name was Brandon
Then I guess I figured out where I stand. This is a love beanie.
I loved it.
Oh   yeah.
Yes sir. Thanks.
Andy
Processed.
Whats up man? Im Darryl.
Oh yeah.
Im not sleeping with your girlfriend.
I got too much ice cream. You want some? Getting my fry on.
Uh
Thats regular text talk.
Youre such a great friend.
Youre such a great friend
Yeah
Shes got a boyfriend.
It has been processed.
Sure.
Hey
Andy
Guys
What?
Oh my God
Hey
Ill put you down for shortbreads.
No. No.
I been selling here for five years. This is my spot.
You know what? Its your first time
OK
All I need is Kevin. Dude buys more cookies than everyone combined and then some.   When I first started selling cookies he was a relatively thin man. Not a thin man
Would you like to buy some cookies?
Its not a scratch-and-sniff
Youre new to the game. You learned a lesson today. See you next year
That doesnt mean anything.   Kevin
Huh. Hit the road
Whats a skinny guy like Toby know about cookies? You cant trust him to understand the wants and needs of the thick man. Maybe Toby from two years ago.
Thank you.
Look
Baby
No
Yeah
Youre not talking... triple digits?
Hi. This is Alex.
Kevin cant come to the phone right now because hes busy with us.
I dont know
Forget it
Im out. And so is Toby.
This may be wrong. But theres a limit to what I would do for my child.
Hey
I was still thinking of going back to school.
Me.
No.
No.
No.
No.
No.
Oh
So how was the drive in?
You dont say?
Phyllis. This rain... does it make you wanna be doing something?
Uh... I have other issues. Im terrible at math. Overweight. You- youre in great shape. A lot better shape than I am
He does not like that wall.
Looking good
You really re-did Andys office
I need you to sign these
You could go downstairs and ask them?
Who knew
Tacos.
I can go get us some tacos.
If you loan me some money.
$30.
Tacos were on sale
Hmhmm.
Shes trying.
Peppers been getting me out of the house
Is she sick? How are her poops?
Let me get this straight. You lost all of it. All your winnings. A hundred and fifty thousand dollars.
You mean to tell me no one wanted an energy drink for Asian homosexuals?
And you got half a million of these? Well I gotta try it.
Aw
The coconuts pretty subtle.
I dont know
If I were Val
A lot has changed since yall left
I would.
Yeah.
Yes
Good slam.
Good luck to you.
Lets see that smile. Go on.
Cool.
Actually
This seems like the kind of thing white people with dreadlocks do.
Go
Congratulations
You got this
Everyone
Andy made me his consigliere. Which means Assistant Regional Manager. I guess he thought Id be into The Godfather cause Im black. Wrong! Im into The Godfather cause Im a cinephile. I like Scarface cause Im black.
OK
Um
That was a good one.
Its getting late. I thought you guys could use a little   inspiration.
127 hours. Its about this guy who-
My bad.
Goodnight.
Oh
Its all about finding ways to make yourself more efficient. Life hacking
Since Andy promoted me to assistant regional manager
You log in sales at ten different times. If you log ‘em all at once
Life hacking
Tracee Ellis Ross. Daughter of the First Lady of Motown
What?! Really?
Huh ha! Thats cool
Whoa! That person has really gotten him or herself into quite a predicament.
Yes
I included some time saving ideas...
Look
Youre gonna po mouth
Actually
That could work.
Im going for a walk.
Im done. I gotta get out of here.
Its not just today
Hmm. Yeah right
Like what?
What kind of job?
Hell yeah!
That sounds awesome!
I love Philly!
Its not even a thought—
What? Wait
Yeah. Yeah
Oh
Its not real... until your wife is on board.
Yeah. You too
Hey! He deserves this. And he said I could get in on it too.   Yeah.
That was a triple.
My pleasure.
Hey
Come on! Just show me the Power Point.
Youre the tutorial.
You could be.
What are you doing?
You popped one kernel.
Correct.
Stop.
Too late.
You went to Cornell?
I cant really picture it. Can you... get it on there. Yeah. And maybe
Get under your chin first. Yeah.
Take it all the way up to your lip
Yeah
Who?
Sounds great.
If we sell everything but the boat
I worked at a Jiffy Lube.
I would if I owned it and I went broke.
Andy
Hes been sailing for two days.
Daaaaamn! It just keeps on coming
What are yall doing?
Cool. It should be taller though
Thats what Im talkin about.
Bang.
Well
Actually
Ah-Ha-Ha! Philly! Exciting stuff
So you sure you remembered everything for your trip?
Think that through for a sec.
Yeah
What else could you possibly be forgetting?
Things? People?
Jim
Merediths a little cute. Im just realizing. She got
Boo!
Im gonna tell Jim to go   himself.
Back for more
You!
Thats great.
Thanks
I shall come by at your convenience.
Claps his hands once
Oh! Whoa!
Sucks. Anyway
Alright. I mean
I know
Me and Val were going nowhere and if Im gonna be working in Philly
Ill never be sorry
Alright
Yeah
Thanks
Oh
Yeah.
When I was a kid
Huh?
Oh
But...
Im back together with Val. Yay...
Heading to Philly. Interview with Jims company.
Why dont you come along and tell him yourself?
I was born ready! No
Yeah
Damn! Jim
If this companys going down
Yeah.
Mandate- Always think of two men on a date.   I have gay friends... I have one gay friend.   Oscar?
Ummm...   Alright. Obviously yall look really busy
Cool. Hey
Yes
Yeah
So Im like a three year old girl in this scenario...
And Id only get to see Jada on the weekends. You know
Who needs it?
What?   How about yesterday?
Oh
Yes
Kill their fish
Nothing stupid about working for yourself. Hanging out with pro athletes
Yeah
Yep.
Come on
Mr. Romanko
Loyalty.
Darryl is dating Val... still.
Dwight
It can.
I dont do that anymore.

All right
How far is this place?
Fun.
They have fast food in Philly.
Exactly like this.
Its 30 degrees out. You drinkin a mildshake?
You just threw a milkshake in a restaurant where they make minimum wage.
You missed a spot.

No. I was clearing my throat.
watching you tube video
And replay.
Im gonna miss the paper business.
They smell so bad.
Your friends are like Spider-man
How much did you pay for that?
Everybody knows I go to Philly. Ive just been using sick days I saved up. But
Hey.
Just a couple of grown
Jim was nice enough to give me his bedroom.
Which usually means theres clothes all over the living room.
I love Jim. I love that he hooked me up with a job. Its just
Already on it. I ordered them by their Google trend ranking so we know who to hit first.
Yes sir.
You too... Darryl.
Its cool. Readings tricky sometimes.
Thats my go-to thermos. Thats all.
No big deal. No big deal.
Nah
Nah
I dont know. You gonna wash it? Or you gonna let it soak?
Thank you.
Oh
I usually watch TV during my lunch breaks. Its cool?
All right.
I didnt say anything.
Excuse me?
What you need flour for
What? You making bread?
What kind of bread you making? Pumpernickel?
All right
We good.
Nothing.   Its mine.     What happened to my Tavis Smileys?
Hes not my hire
What? Is he retiring? You getting him a gift or something?
I know he loves his pick up truck.
Hey. While I got you on the phone
Oh. Come on!
Damn!
That felt really good
No... yes
Stop talking bout it. I said Im fine with it.
Oh
Man
Hey
Youve got a booger bubble going on there.
Its ok.
Dont use his real name. George Howard Scubb. Its a devil name.
Thats big of you
Somebody just needs to get her attention
Hey
And we all know
Subway sandwiches.
The space dust does it.
Yeah.
Wow. Yeah
Yeah
Its so strong.
We can look into it.
Well go after Darth then.
Thats what we gotta do.
It does not say dangerous. And theres no exclamation point.
Something full of acid.
That was great man. Alright
Yep.
I was in The Whiz in high school.
Hold up
So?
Andy Bernard cant squirt water in his eye and act like it doesnt freak him out. But you know who can? Older Male Lab Assistant Number One.
I believe I want to go home.
Action!
I just think youre going into this a little fast.
Show business is cold. Lets say you get a job
You talk to Wade and Colin?
We got an offer on the table.
A buyout.
Were in play
We did it! Hey
Yeah
Wade said we could do the whole country in three months.
Cant do what?
No
What up?
Delivered all my furniture to Philly. Hey
I hate goodbyes
Thanks
Yep. Take care.
Hey.
No
We livin like rock stars. Im about to eat free steaks with my sports heroes in 32 different cities.
Jim really doesnt want to come?
Wow. Man. I hope he doesnt regret it.
Jim is happy here
If you say so. Hey
Oh
Oh
I dont think I sh-
Guess Im going upstairs.
I didnt realize we were this close.
Uh... yeah. Depending on traffic.
These dudes are definitely in a weird mood. Picked the wrong day to return a truck.
Well
Maybe forever. Anyhow—
Oh
Whoa
Hey
I dont care
You chose one thing?
You want to dance?
This is what you want?
Better get some decent speakers up here then
I wanted to leave quietly. It seemed dignified. But having Kevin grind up on my front while Erin pretends to hump me from behind is a more accurate tribute to my years here. Im gonna miss these guys.
Hello
Hey
What? Mustve been another devilishly handsome debonair individual.
Hey
Yeah
You ready for tonight? We gonna tear up the town?
Hey
I love it. And its Athleap now. And the city is amazing.
Yeah. Yeah
Woah-Oh! Havent been in one of these in forever.
That happens a lot?
Lets get a drink in you
Right there.
Thank you go much.
Yeah
What? All right!
Hey
You did good. Real good.
Everyday when I came into work
