Just before lunch. That would be great.
Alright
What? Im sorry?
Well
Do you want to look at mine?
OK. Since the last meeting
Michael
No
Ive spoken to Josh in Stamford. Ive told him the same as you and its up to either him or you to convince me that your branch can incorporate the other.
This does
Go ahead.
So do you think we could keep a lid on this for now? I dont want to worry people unnecessarily.
So
Wait
The Gold Plan? Im not even on that plan.
Michael.
You know the whole reason that were doing this
Its your job. So...
Michael... maybe... I mean...
Sometimes a manager
Im doing it right now. To you.
Hello?
This is Jan.
Who is this?
From sales?
Wheres Michael Scott?
Dwight
Really?
OK
No. Please dont use my cell phone ever again.
Are you listening to me Michael?
What did I just say?
Alan and I have created an incentive program to increase sales.
Im not going to do that Michael.
Weve created an incentive program to increase sales.
At the end of the month you can reward your top seller with a prize worth up to a thousand dollars.
Uh
No
Its a
No.
No
Are you there Michael?
Really? Im dropping an atomic bomb on you?
You already had a party on May 5th for no reason.
And you had a luau....
And a tsunami relief fundraiser which somehow lost a lot of money.
Okay
Yes. Yes
You seem a little bit agitated
Well
Do you need to see the video again
Michael. MICHAEL!
Michael
Mike... Michael. Please. I... I... really.
Thats not my sense of humor.
Wha...
Scuse me
Mr. OMalley is our Corporate lawyer. We have him on retainer. To protect the company as well as upper level management
This is a projection of the countys needs...
Thirteen schools
So when we get to the Radisson
Excuse me?
You had no right to do that
It said that.
Alright. But you will let me run this meeting.
What?
Thank you.
Michael
Do you always shut down the entire office when you leave for an hour?
So which way is Chilis?
Oh
I know Scranton.
Alright.
If its a couple blocks away-
Ok.
Why would we need a signal?
What kinda trouble are you planning on getting in
Youre gonna let me do the talking
Just Jan Levinson.
No.   Thank you very much for meeting with us. Have you been waiting long?
Michael.
Michael
Michael.   Uh
Were in a meeting.
Christian.
I thought we could start by going over the needs of the county.
What?
So-
If you have a-
Christian
Just the one.
Excuse me
We would probably be upset with ourselves if we went this whole night without talking business
Whats the bottom line?
I dont think Christian has time for that.
Oh no
Wed been fighting for a while-
He didnt want kids
I was stupid.
Uh-
Bye... thanks.   Yes!
We got it!
I am really-   Thrilled.   Lets go.
Lets go.
Michael.
I am returning your many calls.
No. No
Uh
I expect you to forget anything that you think may have happened between us and exhibit completely professional behavior.
Ok
Michael.
Are the cameras with you...
...in your office?
Well address this in the meeting then. Ok. Ok
Im good  how are you?
Nice to see you.
Can we please go in your office?
Thank you.
Nice to see you too
Not like that.
You know Michael
Period.
Do we understand each other.
So are you still in the middle of the performance reviews then?
No.
Fine.
How is that a business question?
Please dont smell me
Uh
Great. Very good.
That sounds serious
I cant
Please sit down.
Youre gonna sit here and Im gonna go sit over there.
Please
What
Because nothing did
No
Is this how youve been conducting all the reviews
Thats a serious offense!
Oh! Michael
No.
Ok! Heres what Im gonna do : Im gonna step outside
Thank you
Look
Im heading back to New York  Alan and I will conduct your performance review over the phone tomorrow.
K?
Michael
No
Never
Michael
With your looks
Really. Youre
And you were very sweet
At this time in my life. I just am not in the place right now where Im looking for a relationship
Ohhh
So
Women today
Michael... I thought we agreed you wouldnt be here.
What are you doing?
Michael.
Michael.
You are not allowed in this session.
Now youre really not allowed in this session.
Im your boss.
Were fine
Ladies
Yes
Michael!
So one obstacle is how assertiveness is perceived differently in men and women. Men who are assertive will be admired. Theyre called... anyone?
I dont know what youre doing here
... but its very destructive.
Can you please do this somewhere else
Dwight
Im so sorry about that... um... so where were we? Pam
Please? Thank you. very much.
Why dont we go around the table and all say something that we know were good at. I will start. I am good at public speaking.
Great. Phyllis?
No. Okay. Stop. Go on...
That is an excellent goal.
Great! Uh-huh?
Well
Great
You know the company is offering a design training program in New York.
Well
There are always a million reasons not to do something.
All right. Lets talk about clothing.
Dress for the job you want
Another issue is inequality of pay between men and women. Im sure that all of you have felt that before...
What? A union! What...
Im not...
The cons are that everyone will lose their job. Michael. Everyone. Office
You got yourself into this Michael
Thats too bad.
I dont want to...
Michael! Michael! Michael!
Michael.
Dont say another word.
Get yourself down stairs.
Sports metaphors are one of the ways women feel left out of the language of the office. Now
Right. Par for the course is a golf term. It means right on track. Below par means worse. Wait... that should mean better
Excuse me?
I dont know what Michael was talking about. I dont know.
Kelly
Im divorced.
It was. Yes.
I think you should all spend a little more time thinking about your careers and less time on personal stuff.
Okay. Lets take five. I think we can all use five.
Did you take care of the situation?
Excuse me.
Excuse me. Ive been told theres been some interest in forming a Union and that Michael supported it. Obviously hes not a friend of yours because he didnt tell you the facts. So let me. If there is even a whiff of unionizing in this branch
Josh Porter
And Michael Scott
Fine Michael. Thank you.
Nervous
OK.   Craig
Um
Craig
Well
NO
Yeah
Oh
Surely
Uh
Oh
Oh
Oh.
Hello
Im... returning your call
Well
...Happy birthday
Am I on camera?
Yeah
Michael?
You know that Im very serious here.
What?
I thought that you were their fearless leader.
I think you can handle it.
I think so
Goodbye
Michael?
You know
I could use a little fun. So
Incidentally
Okay
Bye-bye.
Michael?
Hi.
What are you... Just... Wait
No. No
Does anyone want a drink?
Okay.
Cosmopolitan
Well
Casino Night in the warehouse. Good sport.
Oh
What?
No
I didnt... I dont know...
Smoke?
Fabulous time. I drove two and a half hours to get here.
Left work early
Why did I hook up with Michael?
It was very late
Good. Have you told anyone?
Well
Hey. Im leaving.
So
And thanks for inviting me. You were right
Nice to meet you.
And you guys have a good time together.
Yeah.
Okay. So what is it that you wanted to talk to me about?
Im sorry?
Well
Well
Obviously we do need to find it quickly to ensure that its not a criminal action.
But... I guess thats it. So
You know
Thats not what its called.
Coming out
NO!
No
You know
Michael
Oh
We all checked in?
Great
Okay!
What are you talking about?
Step away from me
Great!
What have you generated
What party?
Michael
Really?
Well
Hello?
Hello?
How would a movie increase productivity Michael? How on earth would it do that?
Magically?
No.
Hello?
Who is this?
You should talk to Michael
What about him?
Its not about a surprise party is it?
Look
How do you know I like that store?
How do you know that?
No its not. Its officially not.
Yeah.
Really?
Ok.
What would you do differently?
Dwight
Where is it?
Michael.
I just had a very interesting conversation with one of your employees.
No
Mm-hmm.
You cant have people undermining you. Get control of your branch immediately.
So
Michael
I understand how you feel
Well
Of Ed?
Im not sure thats realistic.
No
What the hell are you two talking about?
You know what
...and I have to get back to work.
So call me when you feel like having a real conversation.
Goodbye.
Tell me what you did yesterday.
Nothing?
I dont care how your day was Michael.
Tell me what you did yesterday.
Hi
Im great. So
Thanks Pam.
Michael.
Michael.
Michael.
I am here to tell you that we are closing the Scranton branch.
The board voted last night to close your branch.
The boards.
Im very sorry. I dont relish telling you this. Youve been a big part of this company
A small number of people will be transferred to the Stamford branch
Well
Well
Its... its about talent.
Our CFO believes that Josh is going to play an important role in our companys future.
Hi.
Oh
So
Awesome.
Wha... excuse... why not?
Today?
You leveraged your new position with us into another offer?
Damn it
Im gonna make some calls.
So... we are still scrambling here. But uh
And I know that you just left there a couple of months ago
Yeah.
Michael.
Ah. Well
Wheres Michael?
looks around
Ah
Well
Back?
Uh
Michael!
Did you fire Tony Gardner when he was trying to quit?
Do you realize
You do?
What? No. No. No
Hes the only one who has worked with both groups. I sent you a memo about this.
Mmhmm.
We get that money for hiring an ex-convict.
When did the check come?
Okay
Uh
...Okay its someone named Martin Nash.
Michael?
Hello everyone. Hello Michael.
I was in Scottsdale visiting my sister.
Very sunny. Familys important. Michael
Why am I here
In the last year
I think I owe it to myself to find some kind of happiness
This is the kind of thing
This is the point
Good
Well
Wait 15 minutes
Oh
Dwights name is on the security sign-in sheet
Michael
Okay.
Uh when
You went to a bachelor party at work?
Im closer to firing you.
Ill talk to you later.
Michael?
Hi.
Lets just blow this party off.
Am I on speaker phone?
Is anybody else in the...
Hi
Ok. Lets just go to a motel...
...and just like rip into each other like we did on that black sand beach in Jamaica.
Still on speaker?
Are cameras there?
See you soon.
Im sure that its catered. I need you to sign these
You realize this is a legal document that says you cant sue the company.
Ive never told you that I love you.
I am taking a calculated risk. Whats the upside? I overcome my nausea
Whats this over the i?
Why is this so hard? Thats what she said. Oh my God. What am I saying?
Oh
Of course
From the Scranton Branch.
David
Were good.   Michael
Martini please.
You ok?
Its nice.
I
Im sorry. Youre just going to have to excuse us for just a couple minutes.
Sorry. Michael
Dont you know what Im doing?
Shut up.
Come on.
What?
Just let me loosen my dress.
Michael.
Slam me up against the wall
Oh
Oh
Not too good.
I feel sick.
No
Please dont cry.
It was never a love contract
I didnt mean it. I was...
Tired. Im tired. And I didnt eat enough. And
Thats all. I didnt mean it. Thats all. Im just saying I didnt mean it.
Ok.
Michael
Is Toby there?
Ok
Thank God.
All right
What did I tell you about yeppers?
I told you not to say it. Do you remember that?
Why dont we talk next month
Today. All right
Great. Uh
Da--- Darryl from the warehouse?
No
Michael
...and we need someone else
Thank you
Thats my new assistant.
I have to call you the second I get a new assistant?
Hi
Right now we can offer you a 6% raise.
Oh
Michael---
Michael---
Okay
Ok
Great.
Whats wrong with you?
Okay
No
No. But we can offer you 12.
Michael!
Michael
...come over after work tonight
Ill give you $200. And if I get up before you
$300?
You know whatever. Just let my assistant know if youre coming over so he can get more vodka
Michael...   I was
So... were good?
Oh. Hold on
One second. Oh! Its from you. Uh
OK.   Its me
Oh.
Michael.
Uh
Im great. Uh
I just
Okay.
Been good.
Good.
Sorry to drop by unexpectedly. I uh
After you ended... everything with us
To kinda clear my mind.
It was. Yeah
Ive made some big changes in my life and... I miss you. I want us to get back together.
Ohh...
So...   there are a lot of things that I would like to do differently.
I feel like
And if we could talk about a way to approach a possible reconciliation...
Thanks.
Oh
Well
Good luck with your interview.   Bye.
Hey you!
How was your interview?
Yeah?
Oh.   Ill put in a good word for you.
What?
Whats... whats the matter? What... what happened in there?
Tell me what?
You son of a bitch!
Youre firing me? Where the hell do you get off?
Erratic?
Is it because of these?
No
No?
Cause he likes them.   Okay? He likes them. And
Yeah!
Okay
Bye Hunter.
Good luck with your band.
Dont let them change you
Oh
Oh
Oh
Live together. Actually
OK
Youre over 75 years old?
Theres no prize money.
So I heard that you were peeping on Michael.
I dont know what your deal is
Water? Water?  Toby gabs water
Michael thats irrational.
Hi
Is Michael in?
Hey.
Ryan. Ryan. Ryan
Well
Different salary.   Youll get there
Thank you
Best decision I ever made.
You know what? I love the beard. Keep it forever.
Hey.
What?
So
Hes such a snake.
I hope hes gets hit with an ageism suit.
Ageism? Companies they cant discriminate against people due to old age. Like a couple years ago we tried to force out some of the older branch managers with a mandatory retirement age and then Ed Truck
Yes
My friends? Michael
Is it really that important to you?
Alright.
Go by yourself.
Well...
What? No Michael!
You do.
Well
A futons not a sofa.
I know what a futon is
It costs what it costs.
We have gone through this.
Conniving little runt. Put him through.
So
Why? Improv? Why dont you just pretend you have a car? Good practice
You drive
I didnt go.
I just didnt!
How was improv?
Youre broke?
Michael
Yeah
Okay
Well
Ill be right there.
Alright.
Michael.
Whats going on?
Well
What does that mean?
Michael
Your creditors can follow you anywhere with ease. Your debt follows you around the world
Uh
Well
Michael
Im keeping them. I know you like them. Theyre kind of uncomfortable though.
Its kind of painful and my nipples are over-sensitive now.

I dont know
Good.
And they displayed a pattern of disrespect and inappropriate behavior.
Um
Remember
Does this work for you?
Uh
Four million.
No
Stop saying ridiculous things. Hes just gonna tell the truth
Michael
All right
Michael
People underestimate Michael. There are plenty of things that he is well above average at. Like ice skating. He is a very good ice skater.
Can we just move on to another question?
Okay
Uh
I had to
You keep it under my side of the mattress.
Alright
I love you too.

Michael
Alright
How about Chinese?
That was my cheap suggestion. Chinese was my cheap suggestion.
Fine
Hi.
How are you?
Chilly huh? So glad we finally got to do this with you guys. You wanna take their coats babe?
Oh well Pam
So what do you guys think
Do you have a preference babe? Upstairs first?
Alright
Yeah
This is my office.
Not super exciting.
And this is my workspace.
I do
Uh-huh
Men love this one.
When I get frustrated
Just like that.
So this is the master bedroom
Babe I thought you said you were going to tidy things up.
Shame on you.
See
Its pine.
Really?
I bet you are.
It was between the neon beer sign and the Dundies so I said Honey keep the trophies.
Oh
So glad youre finally able to be here.
Oh
Aw.
How bout we do the short tour and then Ill start dinner?
Oh no no no
You know Pam
Do you have a preference
Follow me.
So music
Do you guys remember my old assistant Hunter? He is an excellent songwriter.
Well I think hes probably just about as reliable as Pam being that it usually takes you an afternoon to get back to me.
Joe Camel!
Oh!
Babe can you just like really
No.
I was watching Jim.
No smiling.
No no no
No rhyming!
Im so
Come on
You are so right
I will get it
Uh
You should see our bathroom after Michael takes a bath
Oh well dont tell me that hes really changed since you guys dated.
Well
Mmhmm.
Coming!
What are you doing here?
What is he doing here?
Fine
We saw Wicked.
I am so sorry that I dont want to bring kids into this screwed-up world
I hate my life.
Im just gonna check on dinner.
Can you not do that? Its disgusting.
Oops.
Hey babe?
How about we take the beer sign down until our guests leave and then we can discuss it.
Ok.
At least hes an artist.
AND IM A CANDLEMAKER BUT YOU DONT HEAR ME BRAGGING ABOUT IT!
FOR AN INVESTMENT OPPORTUNITY!
YOU BURN IT. YOU BUY IT!
AND YOURE HARDLY MY FIRST!
Michael!   Michael. What are you doing to him?
Bye Babe!
Well it was good to see you.
Yeah
Hello... Michael.
I...
No.
Uh
I didnt...
... touch that.
Why?
Yeah
... happen when...
... we were together. Thats true. And-but
...Not to. No
Yeah.
I went to a sperm bank.
Yuh-huh.
Uh
I know.
No
IHop.
If I was 22
Oh
Look
Okay.
sighs
I just think that...
Why?
I think you can. I... what?
All right
Well... well
We just will.
I have some ideas.
I am not going to tell you yet.
Oh
Yes
Sometimes when he gets nervous he
A little amuse-bouche
Okay
Oh!
Ahh
Are you eating?
Really
So
Well
I did
Yeah.
Yeah. But
Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
It was me!
I spray-painted that dog. It was sleek
What are you doing to him? What...   is this about that stupid
Please
I need you to make me 100 copies of this on canary yellow.
Hi.
Oh
Oh
Thats his ex.
Hi
This is my baby.
Astrid.
Well
And the birth instructor thought it wasnt a good idea for you to be there
OK
Im sorry
Yes
trid.
Well...
Michael
Thank you. Thats very sweet of you.
Thank you.
Being good isnt always easy / No matter how hard I try / When he started sweet-talking to me / Hed come and tell me everything is all right / Hed kiss and tell me everything is all right / Can I get away again tonight / The only one...
now belting out the lyrics
Well
Yeah
Oh
Oh no
And after the birth you get out and deliver the afterbirth.
Youre sad about this. I know that
All right. Um
Oh. I was just catching up on my sleep.
Wheres Astrid?
On a what?
Thats funny.
What are you doing? Whats going on? Excuse me.
There you are.
You dont flash around a newborn baby. Dont you know that?
Michael
Uh... come on.
Oh
You know what
Ah. Thanks
OK. You know what? There is
Dont date Holly.
Thanks for the baby shower. It was great. And Ill see you... soon.
OK.
...to accommodate the
How do I do it? Raise my daughter
Yeah Im really happy. Me and Astrid against the world.   Were loving it
Yeah.   Fry it up in a pan. Never never never let you forget...   I love that commercial.
Well
Are you gonna keep me in suspense?
No
Michael Scott
You wanna dig into our relationship
No! In the beginning we were not good.
Well if theres anything exciting about it its because we both knew it was wrong!
No
No Im the princess
Assy! Awwhhh how was school?
What did you learn?
You might have learned shapes
acting as a jazz singer at the Funky Cat
He finished his movie?  frantically trying to open her car door

The hostages are under the stadium.
You son of a bitch. Youre firing me? Where the hell do you get off?
Wheres Wallace?
I was under the impression that David Wallace would be coming. He bought back Dunder Mifflin
Molly! David Wallace is in Vermont.
Molly. I am not Tom. I am Jan.
I thought it would be fun to have a little chat with uh
Stop.
Stop that.
No
Insightful
Pam?
Im a very busy woman
Fine. I will show you one... slide show.
audio from slide show
Aw.
Well
Cece cant spell her name.
Well
Can you spell it? Try to spell it
Dont patronize me.
No.
I -- I --
I dont recall. And yes
Will you uh
Do you have a valid passport?
Hello?
Oh
Really?
Hmm.
Seriously? Youre calling me a few weeks after finalizing our contract to gouge me now for more money? Is that what youre doing?
Yeah.
You know what? You know what
Tell Angela to send me a final invoice.
