Symbol of transparency. Thered be no titles. Everyone would have the same job. Same goes for me. Id take your job
Everyone would be known for their accomplishments.
Ooh? Yeah. Mm. Scratch everything from before. I tell you what Id do. Go the other way. More cubicles. More division. Everyone is somebodys boss
Well
By splitting the difference. Just... just
Zen office. Hmm? Thought of that? Thats what Id do. Everyone takes their shoes off
Youve got a Thai woman
Sockee!... is her name. Okay? Shes administering massage
This job? Oh
Psst. Say
Psst. Say
Him
You poor
Ah! It was. I went on a shopping spree. Very destructive. I bought thirteen pianos. Then I realized
No
Oh
Let me just get the projector working.
Jim
Is there not? Maybe Im just waiting for someone to wow me.
Huntings so primal. Almost sexual.
Why are you sitting down like that?
We have the Sabre Pyramid
I feel like Im in ancient Egypt.
Very good point.
Dwight
Ah
What are the three pillars of retail?
Very true. Where theres a will
How are you feeling?
Can I see the wound?
Oh! Thats disgusting. Thats barely healed.
A few hours ago
That is amazing. Todd
Would you come in early tomorrow so we can talk about the store over breakfast? I feel you   have a lot to offer.
Everyone
Ah
It is the end of the day
Well thank you. This is very helpful feedback.   Dwight
I cant be hypnotized
Alright
Everyone meet in the hotel bar at 7:00. Im not allowed to say its mandatory
Jason Bourne has no support staff. His own governments out to get him.
Ooh
I will be right back.
Blow in my ear.
Like Im on the beach.
And a wave crashing... a wave crashing.
Oh
Impressive.
You look like Ed Harris if they stretched him a little bit.
Oh!
Put your forehead near mine
No
No.
Dwight
Mm-hmm.
mm-hmm...
I will see you in seven-
at the door
Are you in there? I can see the light on under your door. Hello?     Oh
Test launch day
Yeah
The black one. I never stood a chance.
Now
Uh... that is excellent.
I want to create a sense of wonder and enthusiasm as if
Yes!
I wasnt really sure which one of you is Chuck.
Dwight
We gave you an Arrowhead for free for the day. How hard would it have been to do this
How you doing?
Your little man is unraveling. Now go and fix it.
What is the delay here? Wheres Ryan? Why is he not here?
What?
You are gonna bloody ruin it. Youre gonna bloody ruin it because youre a no-good half-assed cock-eyed...
Thats....
Dwight.  Youre the vice president.

aagh!
Oh
I am so happy Dwight is gonna be working alongside me. We are a regular Archibald and his man George.
Trick... theres no such thing. Its not even a real English duo.
I just made you look like the goat of Dover. And that doesnt exist either.
He doesnt even care.
Ah. In England
Oh.
Hop in
How did that look?
Where the hell is he? I cannot do this without him.
Right
Whatever you do
Allow me to solve your problem
Mmm.   Oh
Certainly not the Harry Houdini Museum. What a nobody. Oh look
Mm.
That one looks empty.
Oh
I have one simple philosophy in business: if the seat is open
Robert.
So far
Water pressure in the hotel is marvelous.
Mm-hm.
Oh
Do you really? Because it is 10:00. Ive been in this chair for an hour
So what is going on? That does seem to be the question
So no one can tell me whats going on. Well
I came in here simply trying to get to know you
Performance reviews.
On first impressions
All right. Lets get going. First up
Oh. Oh
Dwight
Dwight
Then you accept it?
Absolutely not. Seven percent.
So Phyllis
So
Oh
Mm
So
Thats not really what you want. What you want is a good nights sleep
Does Jim have to breastfeed? Did Jim carry around those babies for-- what is it? 12 months? Be honest
You must be exhausted. Fancy a nap?
Go on. Have a nap. Lie down right here. Theres a blanket in here. I used it earlier myself. Dreamt I could breathe underwater like Jacques Cousteau. No one will know. Ill wake you up. And when you wake up
I think youre amazing. You know that
Jim
Why are you so staunchly defending your friend
Jim
Im Tinkerbell.
Mm-hm. Im a magical fairy who floated into your office to bring a little bit of magic into your lives
But heres the thing about Tinkerbell
She dies! Now who here believes in Tinkerbell?
I grew up poor. I had little formal education. No real skills. I dont work especially hard
Sorry
Oh
Nine minutes. Bzz! Off it goes again. Whack! Seven more times I did that. Bzz
Ah ha!
Oh
Well
Ugh! I hate that! No offense.
oh! Ay
Uh
If youd let me finish- Or the squash court
Yes
Yeah.
Oh
Oh.
I see youve discovered Benjamin. Thats what I call my box full of photos of Henry.
God. We owned this flat together. Then one morning
I couldnt afford the flat myself. So I sold it at a loss. Ah
Thank you. No. Look
God
Jim
Why thank you.
Well
Yes?
Oh yes.
You are most welcome.
No.
Mm-hmm.
Hmm
No.
Well
Im gonna count down from five and if you are not out of my office
Five... four...
Angela! Dock Andys pay one hundred dollars.
Do you want to go again?
Lets go again. Five... four...
Three... two... one...
Angela
I know what
Three...
Two...   one.
What do you mean?
I just wanted to take the mans job
Okay
Okay
No.
Which is important in its own way. So if youd just like to take a seat
Take a mans job
This meeting is not about any one person in particular. It is a human problem.
Oh
Dwight told me about it earlier.
Chumbo
Oh... Stanley?
Creed
The most important thing to remember is not to stress about this. Stress just makes it worse
Erin
Okay
Its the apology. I really have to insist.
Stop saying no.
I know a few of his songs
Yeah
I knew this would happen! Everybody told me if I moved to America
Come in!
Yes
How are things in the warehouse?
The warehouse isnt downstairs?   Is it? Is it?
I...
Tonight could be the night that Darryl and I go from casual work friends to actual good friends. The only thing standing in our way is the contempt he seems to feel for me.
Call me a lame man
What I wouldnt give for a big mess of tacos right now!
Brilliant!
Yes
$30
Ive never eaten a taco. Im not entirely sure what they are. As long as theyre not slimy
Oh
Mmm! Uhh   Mmmm... Oh! Hmmph!
I got your voicemail. From – from last night.
And the answer... is yes
Oh. Oh
Do you think Id like that
Can I do it
Oh!
Oh
Thank you. Im... so stupid.
Oh
Youve just got me started. Robert... is... a filthy beast. I mean
I mean
I cannot even tell you what he left on my phone last night.
Pam
Oh yes. Come on
Things are looking up. I might be a mother soon. I have MasterCard right where I want them. And... I have a new friend. A friend. At work.
Oh God.
No
I dont need anyone to-
Thats not even a thing.
Andy.
Andy.
Why dont you clean the carpets for today?
Youre welcome. Up you get then. Pick yourself up. There it is.
You dont need to-
Well
Oh come on
Youre dirty
What?
Oh
May I say one thing?
The quality of mercy is not strained.
It droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath.
It blesseth he who gives and he who takes. Tis mightiest in the mightiest.
Special projects manager
Oh
It sounds amazing
Wonderful
Brilliant.
Not necessarily
Oh
Im very self-conscious about my feet.
Once again
Oh
Fluke.
Get excited. The special projects fairy has arrived.
Today
With Operation Give Back
Theres four thousand dollars to give away. So
Dwight
Thank you
Dwight
Participation is mandatory  Dwight
Great
Oh
Dwight
You support the Taliban abroad. So I assume youre willing to live by their rules here.
Will you join me then in a pledge to live by Taliban law in this office?
When you use a ridiculous font
Looking for this?
Oh
Didnt you sign a contract to live under Taliban law? And now
I know. So
In that case
I tell you what. I need to make three calls. And then after that
Is it gonna be long?
Oh
That is absolutely revolting!
He is so good
The way he just cuts off his arm.
Well
Well
Stupid like you.
Like you.
Youre the stupid one.
Youre the stupid one.
Hmm? Oh—oh
Its just that I am taking my drivers license test in two days

Oh
This is my research into how we might produce child-proof paper that doesnt give you paper cuts. We cant. And here is a print out of your genealogy from thisisyourfamilytree.com
Well
Wife of Barack
Mmmm—the thing is Pam
Whhooooo!
Yeeeeahhhh! Its almost unbelievable!
Well
Well
Pam
Pam!  .
Oh
That is brilliant
Thats amazing
Mm. Ugh
Pam
No! Im just practicing my lyyiiinggg!   I love it.
What should we say about Jim?
My ex behaved like Nixon. All of the lying. None of the sexual charisma.   I just made a joke there.
Oh no! Oh! An affair! It is always an affair!
. How can you be sure?
Youre a cocky little thing
That is quite an ugly wall
Needs something
Yes! You! You are soo talented! Its going to be my next special project. Hiring Scrantons most dangerous young muralist to paint the warehouse wall.
Anything you have to say to her
This is his fault. It is not your fault. Im gonna find you someone better
And Filipino. But well break that to her later.
You know what this is all about.
Yeah. Go on
Ohhh
Andy
Oh
Im trying to adopt a baby.
And the...agency require a character reference from my employer.
You wouldnt have to do anything. I would write the letter myself and you just simply sign it. So.
Its not..its-
Well then if I could just convince...
You.
Its not..its not
Entrapment if Im..
..writing..
Fine.
Oh of course
Listen
Oh thank you so much!
He hates me and thinks Im a monster. Should go back to Loch Ness.
Well
I wish I could just wave a magic wand and make you a parentless five year old again. I would snap you up.
Andy?
Um
Oh
Ah well
Alright then.
Oh
Oh.
Oh
Shes tough in business
Im sexy Toby.
Something wrong Dwight?
Yes?
The mind is part of the body.
Dwight
Hm?
Its my pill. I have an anxiety issue and Im not ashamed of that
Yeah
You know
Hey Toby.
Yes.
Yeah. I...
Yes. I thought Id you know
Its funny right?  Toby starts to lean in for a kiss
Okay
The pill is mine.
Get her out.
Oh Dwight
Oh
Mm. Got it. Well
The real Mose.
Well why dont I go and tell Dwight so he can stop being such a complete nipple.
And welcome back to Biz Whiz. Im Iris Black. On the line we have Dunder Mifflins senior sales associate Dwight Shrute.
So the day-to-day operations are entirely under your command?
Uh
Im so sorry were going to have to ask you to remove the shirt all together.
Oh
Are you by any chance wearing pants with a metallic zipper?
Im getting the all clear from Steve
Well
Lets get straight to the point. Is your paper toxic?
Excuse me
Did you just call Ms. Mick a moron?
Are you insulting my guests?
The fallout from this mornings revelation continues to mount
For those just joining us
Oh
Ew. Thats not good.
I have uh
Well
And then we thought wed ... I cant. I just cant carry on with that face. Look at it. Im gonna get nightmares with that face. I mean he looks like hes laboring over a stool having just eaten human flesh.
No
No.
Oooohh... you salty dog.
Oh
What did I just say? What did I just say?
Oh
Hmm. Yeah.  All right! Yea
Come on
Were they angry?
Okay.
Yes!
Is It?
Well
Too weird.
Im sorry
Oh
Oh
Shh.
Shh.
Shh.
No...more...talking.
Yes.
No.
Breakups are the worst. The only thing that got me through mine are large amounts of shepards pie and Brandy. The singer
Oh
Aw
Listen
Or whats her name.
Lets get Darryl Val.
Quite enormous.
No. No
Darryl
No. Look
Absolutely not!
Whoo!
A-bam!   My favorite is Viennese Amaretto. And the worst flavor Ive tried so far is Alpine Select!
Whoo!
And we have torn up the carpet! Oh
Whoo!
Oh
So
Wow.
Oh.
You two are geniuses. And I am a genius putting you two together.
Well done
Oh
Loyalty is exactly right.
Yes. I mean
Darryl is dating Dunder Mifflin.
But hes flirting with Jims company on the side. And we all know what flirting can lead to.
Im having a bit of trouble understanding the importance of loyalty. So lets-- lets use an example. Take Erin. Erins boyfriend Andy
So is it all right for her to flirt with Creed
No
I suppose that will-- that will be all right
Most relationships eventually die on their own
Oh
Oh
Well
I didnt really think about it like that.
What we have?
I just remembered... I kissed that man. Oh
I am sorry that was so awkward for you two in that meeting. But I am going to have to reassemble the youth task force.
Well
Nope.
Yeah
Heres an exercise for you
Theyre freaks
Have you seen Darryl?
Mmm.  exits
I am in too
Yes
All right then
Well
Now listen. Now that we have got you here
So
The first sorry sounded sincere.
I say we all have one last fun boss-less day.
Everyone
What?
My boyfriend does look like a pretty girl
Oh
Turns out
Im not going to rat on him. No
Um.
Oh no.
No no no no.
No. Toby
For two years! Then what? Another year picking out a stamp? Another six months before you decide to lick it? Just- I dont want to hear it!
Probably best to use his real name rather than strangler.
Hes doing it.
well
I did. I did
Yeah? Well
Oh
Oh my god. Do they film us at night when were sleeping?
My first week here I sneezed directly into the candy jar because I thought Id get more   I thought Id get more screen time than anyone.
Good night Andy.
In this series
Andy Bernard
A possible explanation for his lack of career focus is his surprising musical talent.
I will.
Oh! Which public figure?
Oh
What
Marriage counseling?
Did you know that is the only kind of counseling I have never had?
Mmm.
That was exhausting.
Well
That is for sure.
We started with sixteen brave aviators. Some use skill
We are now down to an elite eight. Well
Hey. Day two. Drama in the warehouse skies. This is Robert from Weyer-Hammer Paper
Oh yes I did
I forgot. I completely forgot. But at least now that large piece of cardboard that man was carrying around makes sense.
Oh please.
OK
Kevin
Oh man.
Ok
You have to choose one now.
Angela advances.
Next up we have Dwight and Phyllis.
Dwight defeats Phyllis
Alright ladies and gentlemen
It is time for a little T & A. I give you: Toby and Angela.
Well
Each contestant will throw two aeroplanes.
Angelas first throw
And we have a winner. And its Dwight. And it is everyone because this is over.
Andy
Well
Of course. But what if you were to stay here
Oh
Oh
Oh
Oh.
No.
How did you now my plane had arrived? How long have you been stalking me?
No. And I thought I unfriended you.
See
Um
Yes. It is. Oh yes it is.
If Ryan wants his baby back
