Some men are discovered; others are found out.
%
Straw?  No, too stupid a fad.  I put soot on warts.
%
Words must be weighed, not counted.
%
By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.
%
He who spends a storm beneath a tree, takes life with a grain of TNT.
%
You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme stupidity.
%
Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
%
Words are the voice of the heart.
%
Your mind understands what you have been taught; your heart, what is true.
%
A king's castle is his home.
%
He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last.
%
The universe is laughing behind your back.
%
The best prophet of the future is the past.
%
It is a poor judge who cannot award a prize.
%
Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.
%
Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in years.
%
Money may buy friendship but money can not buy love.
%
Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you out of Casablanca.
%
Creditors have much better memories than debtors.
%
Many pages make a thick book.
%
Every purchase has its price.
%
Do not underestimate the power of the Force.
%
You will step on the night soil of many countries.
%
Mind your own business, Spock. I'm sick of your halfbreed interference.
%
He who invents adages for others to peruse takes along rowboat when going on cruise.
%
Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal.
%
If you suspect a man, don't employ him.
%
The Tree of Learning bears the noblest fruit, but noble fruit tastes bad.
%
Stop searching forever. Happiness is unattainable.
%
A man who fishes for marlin in ponds will put his money in Etruscan bonds.
%
A good memory does not equal pale ink.
%
A pretty woman can do anything; an ugly woman must do everything.
%
How sharper than a hound's tooth it is to have a thankless serpent.
%
You dialed 2290
%
It's later than you think.
%
Mistakes are oft the stepping stones to failure.
%
It's not reality that's important, but how you percieve things.
%
Promptness is its own reward, if one lives by the clock instead of the sword.
%
Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone.
%
Far duller than a serpent's tooth it is to spend a quiet youth.
%
Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
%
The attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive.
%
Standing on head makes smile of frown, but rest of face also upside down.
%
Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won't see his face.
%
Man's horizons are bounded by his vision.
%
To criticize the incompetent is easy; it is more difficult to criticize the competent.
%
He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.
%
Men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples.
%
Troglodytism does not necessarily imply a low cultural level.
%
You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.
%
Ettiquetee is for those with no breeding; fashion for those with no taste.
%
As goatherd learns his trade by goat, so writer learns his trade by wrote.
%
One man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true.
%
Crazee Edeee,  his prices are INSANE!!!
%
It is better to wear out than to rust out.
%
When the wind is great, bow before it; when the wind is heavy, yield to it.
%
The wise shepherd never trusts his flock to a smiling wolf.
%
It is the wise bird who builds his nest in a tree.
%
How you look depends on where you go.
%
A plucked goose doesn't lay golden eggs.
%
A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
%
Put not your trust in money, but put your money in trust.
%
Even a hawk is an eagle among crows.
%
When among apes, one must play the ape.
%
Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.
%
People who take cat naps don't usually sleep in a cat's cradle.
%
A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn.
%
Do not clog intellect's sluices with bits of knowledge of questionable uses.
%
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
%
Try to divide your time evenly to keep others happy.
%
You have mail.
%
His heart was yours from the first moment that you met.
%
Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all.
%
Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
%
With clothes the new are best, with friends the old are best.
%
He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap.
%
Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.
%
Today is the last day of your life so far.
%
Flee at once, all is discovered.
%
Man who falls in vat of molten optical glass makes spectacle of self.
%
Go directly to jail.  Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
%
For a good time, call 8367-3100.
%
Those who can, do; those who can't, simulate.
%
God does not play dice.
%
This fortune is inoperative.  Please try another.
%
Laugh, and the world ignores you.  Crying doesn't help either.
%
No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail.
%
You will feel hungry again in another hour.
%
You now have Asian Flu.
%
God made the integers; all else is the work of Man.
%
Disk crisis, please clean up!
%
You auto buy now.
%
Many are called, few are chosen.  Fewer still get to do the choosing.
%
Try the Moo Shu Pork.  It is especially good today.
%
Many are cold, but few are frozen.
%
The early worm gets the bird.
%
He who hesitates is sometimes saved.
%
Time is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once.
%
The future isn't what it used to be. (It never was.)
%
Can't open /usr/games/lib/fortunes.
%
If God had wanted you to go around nude, He would have given you bigger hands.
%
It is better to have loved and lost than just to have lost.
%
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance from Charlie.
%
Disk crunch - please clean up.
%
Center meeting at 4pm in 2C-543
%
I will never lie to you.
%
Spock: We suffered 23 casualties in that attack, Captain.
%
Your computer account is overdrawn.  Please reauthorize.
%
1 bulls, 3 cows
%
It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa.
%
Waste not, get your budget cut next year.
%
Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement.
%
Snow Day - stay home.
%
Save gas, don't eat beans.
%
All that glitters has a high refractive index.
%
Ignore previous fortune.
%
When in doubt, lead trump.
%
23. ...  r-q1
%
unix soit qui mal y pense
%
Even a cabbage may look at a king.
%
Honi soit la vache qui rit.
%
No directory
%
Don't eat yellow snow.
%
One Bell System - it works.
%
One Bell System - it sometimes works.
%
* UNIX is a Trademark of Bell Laboratories.
%
chess tonight
%
External Security:
%
Tom's hungry, time to eat lunch.
%
Phone call for chucky-pooh.
%
MOUNT TAPE U1439 ON B3, NO RING
%
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
%
IOT trap -- core dumped
%
IOT trap -- mos dumped
%
/usr/news/gotcha
%
Rotten wood can not be carved - Confucius (Analects, Book 5, Ch. 9)
%
System going down at 1:45 this afternoon for disk crashing.
%
: is not an identifier
%
Quantity is no substitute for quality, but its the only one we've got.
%
Those who can do, those who can't, write.
%
The more things change, the more they'll never be the same again.
%
You've been Berkeley'ed.
%
Excessive login messages is a sure sign of senility.
%
Say logout to logout.
%
fortune: not found
%
System going down at 5 this afternoon to install scheduler bug.
%
Can anything be sadder than work left unfinished?  Yes, work never begun.
%
There is no heavier burden than a great potential.
%
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
%
It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.
%
A man paints with his brains and not with his hands.
%
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
%
There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist.
%
He who lives without folly is less wise than he believes.
%
Failure is more frequently from want of energy than want of capital.
%
Success is a journey, not a destination.
%
Men love to wonder, and that is the seed of science.
%
Two men look out through the same bars; one sees mud, and one the stars.
%
The man who makes no mistakes does not usually make anything.
%
Youth is the trustee of posterity.
%
Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in.
%
The greatest of faults is to be conscious of none.
%
He that would govern others, first should be the master of himself.
%
Above all things, reverence yourself.
%
Learned men are the cisterns of knowledge, not the fountainheads.
%
The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.
%
It is better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
%
Courage is grace under pressure.
%
Culture is the habit of being pleased with the best and knowing why.
%
Anybody can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
%
He who hates vices hates mankind.
%
To teach is to learn.
%
Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.
%
Nothing in life is to be feared.  It is only to be understood.
%
There is no such thing as pure pleasure; some anxiety always goes with it.
%
God must love the common man; He made so many of them.
%
Integrity has no need for rules.
%
The price of greatness is responsibility.
%
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
%
A clash of doctrine is not a disaster - it is an opportunity.
%
The end of labor is to gain leisure.
%
Your education begins where what is called your education is over.
%
Can anyone remember when the times were not hard, and money not scarce?
%
All great ideas are controversial, or have been at one time.
%
The finest eloquence is that which gets things done.
%
The life which is unexamined is not worth living.
%
Happiness adds and multiplies as we divide it with others.
%
