login: 
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        Welcome to VAX/VMS Version 1.60    
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$3,000,000
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'Tis an ill wind that blows no minds.  -Malaclypse the Younger
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'Tis better playing with a lion's whelp,/Than with an old one dying.
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'Tis nobler in the mind to Look Things Up than to Pull Them Out Of The Air.
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* UNIX is a Trademark of Bell Laboratories.
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*** LGP ERROR ***: Initialize -- Cannot initialize graphics hardware device.
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-1: No code table for op: ++post
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...and on the seventh day, He exited from append mode.
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/usr/games/fortune: not found
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/usr/news/gotcha
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1 bulls, 3 cows
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127 now in the unregulated subsidiary; see /usr/news/btl-split
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2 lacks generality in a way that 1 doesn't.
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23. ...  r-q1
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355/113 -- not the famous irrational number PI, but an incredible simulation.
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: is not an identifier
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A Cray is the best machine for simulating the performance of a Cray.
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A Smith and Wesson beats four aces.
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A billion here, a billion there; soon you're talking real money.  -E. Dirksen
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A bird in hand is safer than one overhead.
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A bird in the hand is worth what it will bring.
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A block grant is a solid mass of money surrounded on all sides by governors.
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A chicken is just an egg's way of making more eggs.
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A closed mouth gathers no foot.
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A conservative is one who is too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
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A couch is as good as a chair.
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A coward is one who in a perilous emergency thinks with his legs.
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A critic is a legless man who teaches running.
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A day for firm decisions!!!!!  Or is it?
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A day without sunshine is like night.
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A duck with three wings and a loaf of bread is brother to the turkey.
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A fly by night leaves no shadow beyond a doubt.
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A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.
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A furore Normanorum libera nos, O Domine!
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A game, a teaching aid, a sport, and a piece of art. -Erno Rubik
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A good memory does not equal pale ink.
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A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow.
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A goodly apple rotten at the heart:/Oh, what a goodly outside falsehood hath!
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A homeowner's reach should exceed his grasp, or what's a weekend for?
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A hypothesis is an opinion that you are trying to prove true.
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A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance from Sam.
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A king's castle is his home.
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A lone dime always gets the number nearly right.
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A man does not attain the status of Galileo merely because he is persecuted; he must also be right. - S. J. Gould
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A man must destroy himself before others can destroy him.  -Mong Tse
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A man who fishes for marlin in ponds will put his money in Etruscan bonds.
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A man who turns green has eschewed protein.
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A man with 3 wings and a dictionary is cousin to the turkey.
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A man without a faith is like a fish without a bicycle.
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A megaflop is a failure of gigantic proportions.
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A movie studio is the best toy a boy ever had. -Orson Welles
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A penny saved is ridiculous.
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A plague o' both your houses! They have made worms' meat of me.
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A plucked goose doesn't lay golden eggs.
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A poet who reads his verse in public may have other nasty habits.
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A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
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A radical is a person with both feet firmly planted in the air.
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A real Initiation never ends.  -Aleister Crowley
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A really busy person never knows how much he weighs. -Edgar Watson Howe
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A song in time is worth a dime.
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A system programmer is someone who debugs his programs with an oscilloscope.
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A theory is better than an explanation.
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A thousand throats may be slit in one night by a running man.
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A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn.
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A twisting road will take you to Warsaw, but you won't be bored.
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A u.f.o. closely encountered is no longer a u.f.o.
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A watched terminal, never prints.
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A wise man never tries to warm himself in front of a painting of a fire.
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A witty saying means nothing.  -Voltaire
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A woman is only a woman, but a good cigar is a smoke. -Rudyard Kipling
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AAAOO OOZOR AZZAZ ZAIEO AZAEI IIOZA KHOEO OOYTH OEAZA EAOOZ AKHOZ AKHEY THXAA LETHX KH
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About all some parents accomplish in life is to send a child to Harvard.
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About the only thing on a farm that has an easy time is the dog.
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Absence is better than a cure.
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According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are worthless.
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Ad pulchritudinem tria requiruntur; integritas, consonantia, claritas. -Aquinas
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Admiration is our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.
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After 24 hours, corpses and guests smell bad.
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Afternoon very favorable for romance.  Try a single person for a change.
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All articles that coruscate with resplendence are not truly aurifers.
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All dare to write, who can or cannot read. -Horace, `Epistles', Book II
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All of the bridges between our today and our yesteryear have been burnt.
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All syllogisms have three parts; therefore this is not a syllogism.
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All that does not glitter is not not-gold.
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All the ethics in Hollywood can be rolled up and fit into a gnat's navel.
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All the good ones are taken.
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All things considered, life is 9-to-5 against.
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All things that are, are lights.
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Almost all good computer programs contain at least one random-number generator.
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Always keep a record of data. It indicates you've been working.
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America's best buy for a dime is a telephone call to the right person.
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An asylum for the sane would be empty in America.
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An atheist is a man with no invisible means of support.
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An elephant is a mouse built to government specifications.
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An elephant is a mouse with an operating system.
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An idle mind is worth two in the bush.
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An oscilloscope is what cavemen used to debug fire.  -Jim Veres
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An ounce of application is worth a ton of abstraction.
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And I alone am returned to wag the tail.
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And malt does more than Milton can/to justify God's ways to man  -A.E. Housman
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And so to bed.
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Another good night not to sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
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Any change or reform you make is going to have consequences you don't like.
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Any country with "democratic" in the title isn't.
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Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise person to be able to sell it.
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Any small object that is accidentally dropped will hide under a larger object.
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Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo.
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Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.  -Clarke
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Anyone can win, unless there happens to be a second entry.
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Anyone who buys Wisconsin cheese is a traitor to mankind! -J. Pournelle
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Anyone who understands my music will never be unhappy again. -L. Van Beethoven
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Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
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Are we not men?
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Aries -- this is your lucky day!
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Art is merely cheese made visible.
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Artistic ventures highlighted.  Rob a museum.
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As above, so below.
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As goatherd learns his trade by goat, so writer learns his trade by wrote.
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As of Tuesday, C will be flushed in favor of COBOL. Please update all programs.
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Assassination is the extreme form of censorship.
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At the feast of souls failure is always the guest of honor.
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Auribus teneo lupum.
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Avoid reality at all costs.
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Away put your weapon!  I mean you no harm.
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BLISS is ignorance.
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Bad taste is timeless.
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Ban the bomb.  Save the world for conventional warfare.
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Bank error in your favor.  Collect $200.
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Be sure to evaluate the bird-hand/bush ratio.
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Be the sea, and see me be.
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Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone.
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Beauty times brains equals a constant.
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Becoming an overnight success usually takes years.
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Been Transferred Lately?
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Better to have failed your Wasserman than never to have loved at all.
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Between the idea and the reality, between the motion and the act falls the shadow.
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Beware -- local customs vary. Check with a native before going into the jungle.
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Beware of a dark-haired man with a loud tie.
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Beware of low-flying butterflies.
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Beware the foot of Nessus!
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Beware:  the light at the end of the tunnel may be New Jersey.
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Beyond a certain point, the whole universe becomes a continuous Initiation.
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Biggus Diggus wants YOU.
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Bignose from Winnetka.
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Blessed St. Leibowitz, let them keep on dreamin' down there...
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Blessed are the meek for they shall inhibit the earth.
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Blessed are they who Go Around in Circles, for they Shall be Known as Wheels.
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Bourne again.
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Brain fried -- core dumped
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Brashith Alhim
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Bring your wife or husband and pink slip for the best trade-in deal in town.
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Bubble bubble, toil and trouble; cast that float into a double.
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Build a better mousetrap, and nature will build a better mouse.
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Build it so that even a fool can use it, and only a fool will want to use it.
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Bus error -- core dumped
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But he who kisses the joy as it flies/Lives in Eternity's sunrise.  -Wm. Blake
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But many are not capable of a firm persuasion of anything.  -Wm. Blake
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But you'll never become a rhinoceros...you haven't got the vocation!
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But, Siriusly...
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By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.
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By the pricking of my thumbs,/Something wicked this way comes.
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Campus Crusade for Cthulhu -- It found me.
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Can all this just be an accident?  Or could there be some alien intelligence behind it?
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Can tomorrow be more than just the end of today?
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Cannot fork -- try again.
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Captain Clark welcomes you aboard.
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Caution -- be sure brain is engaged before putting mouth in gear.
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Caution: breathing may be hazardous to your health.
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Celebrate Hannibal Day this year.  Take an elephant to lunch.
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Celibacy is not hereditary.
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Center 1127 -- It's not just a job, it's an adventure!
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Center meeting at 4pm in 2C-543
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Centran manuals are available in 2B-515.
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Charlie don't surf.
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Children are hereditary: if your parents didn't have any, neither will you.
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Clothes make the man.  Naked people have little or no influence on society.
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Cocaine is nature's way of saying you make too much money.
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Cogito Ergo Spud.
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Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum.
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Colorless green ideas sleep furiously.
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Communication is only possible between equals.
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Computers are not intelligent.  They only think they are.
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Consistency is always easier to defend than correctness.
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Continental Life. Why do you ask?
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Convictions cause convicts -- what you believe imprisons you.
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Could not open 2147478952 framebuffers.
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Courage is something you can never totally own or totally lose.
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Cowards die many times before their deaths;/The valiant never taste of death but once.
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Crazee Edeee,  his prices are INSANE!!!
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Creditors have much better memories than debtors.
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Cthulhu Saves! ... in case He's hungry later.
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Dames lie about anything - just for practice. -Raymond Chandler
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Damn it, i gotta get outta here!
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Day of inquiry.  You will be subpoenaed.
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De minimis non curat lex.
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Death is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
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Death to all fanatics!
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Deep down, we all need that escape velocity.  -Steven Spielberg.
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Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.
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Department meeting in 3 minutes.
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Deprive a mirror of its silver and even the Czar won't see his face.
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Der Herrgott wurfelt nicht. -A. Einstein
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Did you know ... that no-one ever reads these things?
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Did you know that clones never use mirrors?
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Die: to stop sinning suddenly.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying "nice doggy" until you can find a rock.
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Disco delenda est.
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Disk crisis, please clean up!
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Disobedience was Man's Original Virtue.  -Oscar Wilde.
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Ditat Deus.
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Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.
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Do not clog intellect's sluices with bits of knowledge of questionable uses.
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Do not drink coffee in early A.M.  It will keep you awake until noon.
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Do not go gentle into that good night/Rage, rage against the dying of the light
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Do not meddle in the affairs of troff; it is subtle and quick to anger.
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Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards: it makes them soggy and hard to light.
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Do not meddle in the affairs of wizards: they are subtle and quick to anger.
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Do not sleep in a eucalyptus tree tonight.
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Do not take life too seriously; you will never get out if it alive.
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Do not throw butts in the urinal: it makes them soggy and hard to light.
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Do not throw butts in the urinal: they are subtle and quick to anger.
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Do not underestimate the power of the Force.
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Do not use the blue keys on this terminal.
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Do something unusual today.  Pay a bill.
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Do what comes naturally now.  Seethe and fume and throw a tantrum.
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Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.
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Does George know what he's got here?  -Steven Speilberg.
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Does a firm persuasion that a thing is so make it so?  -Wm. Blake
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Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.
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Don't call me a mindless philosopher, you overweight glob of grease.
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Don't commute, communicate.
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Don't conscience-stricken before they're hatched.
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Don't eat yellow snow.
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Don't feed the bats tonight.
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Don't force it, use a bigger hammer.
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Don't go surfing in South Dakota for a while.
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Don't hate yourself in the morning -- sleep till noon.
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Don't kiss an elephant on the lips today.
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Don't let your thoughts get in a rut. The knife which spreads may also cut.
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Don't lie if you don't have to. -Leo Szilard
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Don't look back -- something may be gaining on you.  -Satchel Paige.
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Don't play games with me.  You weren't on any mercy mission this time.
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Don't put a loaded rifle on the stage unless someone intends to fire it.
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Don't speak about Time, until you have spoken to him.
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Don't tell any big lies today.  Small ones can be just as effective.
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Don't try to have the last word. You might get it.
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Don't try to out-weird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.
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Don't type so hard.
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Don't vote -- it only encourages them.
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Don't worry -- dat mine, it can't hurt us -- it's one of ours.  -Eccles
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Don't worry if it doesn't work right; if everything did, you'd be out of a job.
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Don't you have anything better to do with your time?
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Down with categorical imperative!
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Dreams are free, but there's a small charge for alterations.
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Dreams are free, but you get soaked on the connect time.
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Drive defensively, buy a tank.
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Dyslexics of the world, untie!
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E Pluribus Unix.
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E Unibus Plurum.
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E pur si muove.
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EVACUATION ROUTE  ---->
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Each man's death diminishes me for I am involved in Humanity.  -John Donne
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Easy for you to type, I have to do all the work.
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Eat snart foods.  -Unknown Jerome
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Ego sum ens omnipotens.
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Either I'm dead or my watch has stopped.  -Groucho Marx' last words
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Either we are alone or we are not.  Either way is mind-boggling.
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Eleesosynary deeds have their incipience intramurally.
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English is a stretch language; one size fits all.  -W. Safire
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Eschew the implement of correction and vitiate the scion.
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Even a cabbage may look at a king.
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Even a hawk is an eagle among crows.
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Even paranoia can sometimes be taken to extremes.
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Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.
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Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.
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Even the thousand-zloty note can't tapdance.
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Even these days, it's not as easy to go crazy as you think.
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Every absurdity has a champion to defend it.
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Every cloud has a silver lining; you should have sold it, and bought titanium.
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Every law creates a whole new criminal class overnight.
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Every little picofarad has a nanohenry all its own.
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Every purchase has its price.
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Every solution breeds new problems.
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Every time you make something foolproof, along comes a better class of fool.
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Everybody should believe in something -- I believe I'll have another drink.
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Everything breaks down.
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Everything east of the San Andreas Fault will eventually plunge into the ocean.
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Everything is funny so long as it is happening to someone else.  -Will Rogers
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Everything takes longer than you think.
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Everything you know is wrong.
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Ewige Blumenkraft.
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Excellent day for drinking heavily.  Spike the office water cooler.
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Excellent day to have a rotten day.
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Excellent time to become a missing person.
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Expansion means complexity; and complexity decay.
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Experience varies directly with the equipment ruined.
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Explicit liber viri elephantini.
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External Security:
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FORTRAN 8X combines the simplicity of PL/I and the parsimony of ADA. -S Feldman
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Fact without theory is trivia, theory without fact is bullshit.
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Facta, non verba.
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Fairness?  Decency?  How can you expect fairness and decency on a planet of sleeping people?
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Far duller than a serpent's tooth it is to spend a quiet youth.
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Favor negative lobes.
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Fear is failure and the forerunner of failure.
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Fear not, the end of the world isn't until next week.
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Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
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Fiat lux.
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Fiat voluntas tua.
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Fine day to throw a party.  Throw him as far as you can.
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Fine day to work off excess energy.  Steal something heavy.
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First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain, then there is.
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Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a congressperson can.
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Flee at once, all is discovered.
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Flight 23 is down in the Bermuda Triangle.
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Fnord.
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For a good time, call 8367-3100.
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For every action there is an equal and opposite government program.
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For people who like that kind of book, that is the kind of book they will like.
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Forget it, Jake...it's Chinatown.
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Forsan et haec olim meminisse juvabit.
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Fortunate are they who can laugh at themselves; they will never want for amusement.
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Frankly, I'd rather be in Philadelphia.
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Freedom is the right to be our own potty little selves.  -G. K. Chesterton
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Freedom of incrustations of grime is contiguous with rectitude.
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Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
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Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
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Future looks spotty.  You will spill soup in late evening.
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Gaffer's tape, like The Force, has a light and a dark side and binds the universe together.
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Generousity and perfection are your everlasting goals.
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Genius is the talent of a person who is dead.
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Gentlemen, you can't fight here.  This is the war room.
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Give me a sleeping pill and tell me your troubles.
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Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
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Given enough inside information and unlimited credit, you've got to go broke.
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Go directly to jail.  Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
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Go out and see what the real world has to offer -Gerry Todd
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God does not play dice.
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God gives us relatives; thank goodness we can choose our friends.
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God is in the rock too -- in the rock!
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God isn't dead, he just couldn't find a parking place.
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God made the integers; all else is the work of Man.
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God not only plays dice with the universe, He loads the dice too.
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Golden lads and girls all must,/Like chimney sweepers, come to dust.
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Good day for a change of scene.  Repaper the bedroom wall.
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Good day for overcoming obstacles.  Try a steeplechase.
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Good day to avoid cops.  Crawl to work.
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Good day to let down old friends who need help.
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Good health is just the slowest, most lingering way of dying.
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Good manners and bad breath get you nowhere
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Good news.  Ten weeks from Friday will be a pretty good day.
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Gort!  Klaatu barada...uh...uh...
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Government expands to absorb all available revenue and then some.
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Government is just Anarchy's way of making more anarchy.
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Great shot, kid.  That was one in a million.
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Great warrior?  Heh-heh-heh.  Wars do not make one great.
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Green light in A.M. for new projects.  Red light in P.M. for traffic tickets.
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Growth itself becomes the only moral end. -John Dewey
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Guns don't kill detectives -- love does.
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Ha! You killed my husband, Sam.  Be kind to me.
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Hail to the sun god/He sure is a fun god/Ra! Ra! Ra!
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Half Moon tonight.  (At least its better than no Moon at all.)
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Hangover is the wrath of the grapes.
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Have a nice diurnal anomaly.
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Have you done your Christmas chopping yet? -anon. White House Advisor 12/24/81
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He can't think without his hat.
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He gave her a look that you could have poured on a waffle.
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He is no lawyer who cannot take two sides.
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He is truly wise who gains wisdom from another's mishap.
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He is winding the watch of his wit; by and by it will strike.
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He looked at me as if I was a side dish he hadn't ordered.
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He missed an invaluable opportunity to hold his tongue.
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He serves the state best who opposes it most. -Thoreau
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He thinks by infection, catching an opinion like a cold.
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He was al coltissh, ful of ragerye,/And ful of jargon as a flekke pye. -Chaucer
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He was so narrow-minded he could see through a keyhole with two eyes.
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He who binds himself to a joy/Does the winged life destroy.  -Wm. Blake
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He who has a shady past knows that nice guys finish last.
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He who has imagination without learning has wings but no feet.
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He who has science and art has religion. -Goethe
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He who hesitates is last.
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He who hesitates is sometimes saved.
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He who invents adages for others to peruse takes along rowboat when going on cruise.
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He who keeps his nose to the grindstone, has a flat face.
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He who laughs last is a little slow on the uptake.
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He who laughs, lasts.
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He who listens last is the last one listening.
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He who spends a storm beneath a tree, takes life with a grain of TNT.
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He who wears belt and suspenders needs tighter belt.
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Hell hath no fury like a woman beaten out of a million dollars.
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Help a swallow land at Capistrano.
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Help conquer the IQ shortage: worry less and think more.
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Help me, i'm a prisoner in a chinese computer terminal!
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Hey, I've got it -- let's put on a show!
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Hindsight is an exact science.
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His heart was yours from the first moment that you met.
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His money is twice tainted: 'taint yours and 'taint mine.
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History is a race between education and catastrophe.  -H. G. Wells
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Hit space to start
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Home is the place where, when you have to go there, they have to take you in.
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Honi soit la vache qui rit.
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Hop before you skip.
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Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
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How can I take an interest in my work when I don't like it?
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How can you work when the system's so crowded?
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How did the Universe manage to go bang in such an unreasonable way? -PCW Davies
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How do I love thee?  Hand me my calculator...
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How is it far, if you can think of it?
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How long you live has nothing to do with how long you are going to be dead.
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How sharper than a child's tooth it is to have a thankless serpent.
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How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child.
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How the elephant got into my pyjamas I'll never know.  -Marx, Animal Crackers
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How wonderful opera would be if there were no singers.
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How you look depends on where you go.
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Human beings are the only animals of which I am thoroughly and cravenly afraid. 
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Human kind cannot bear very much reality. -T.S. Eliot
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Hypocrisy is the tribute vice pays to virtue.
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I am Magnus.  You are registered in my memory banks...
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I am free of the wheel of Maya; I am dead to the dance of life.
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I am large; I contain multitudes.
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I am the Supreme Being, you know.  I'm not dim.
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I am the beast, I am the Word of the Aeon...I am a hell of a Holy Guru.
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I am the wandering glitch -- catch me if you can.
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I can call spirits from the vasty deep./Why, so can I, or so can any man.
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I can resist everything except temptation.  -Oscar Wilde.
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I can't decide whether to throw you overboard or just change the way you look.
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I cannot teach him.  The boy has no patience.
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I contradict myself?  Very well, then: I contradict myself.  I am large.
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I dinna believe she'll hold up much longer, Captin.
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I do not sketch or design a work, I merely begin. -Joan Miro
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I don't have a moral plan... I'm a Canadian. -David Cronenberg
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I don't love you any more since you ate my dog.
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I don't mind your thinking slowly; i mind your publishing faster than you think. -W. Pauli
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I give presents to the mother, but I think of the daughter.
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I have never let my schooling interfere with my educations.
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I have nothing to say and I am saying it and that is poetry as I need it. -Cage
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I have the most perfect confidence in your indiscretion.
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I know the difference between real-real and drug-real.
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I like work; it fascinates me; I can sit and look at it for hours.
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I love the smell of napalm in the morning.
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I must have slipped a disk; my pack hurts.
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I never dringk ... wine.  -Bela Lugosi
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I see no login here!
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I see only darkness in the crystal ball
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I sense something -- a presence I haven't felt since....
%
I taught him everything he knows.  Now he knows more.  -Randal L. Schwartz
%
I thank you from the heart of my bottom.
%
I think Isaac Newton is doing most of the driving right now.
%
I think my spaceship knows which way to go.
%
I think; therefore I am confused.
%
I will not suffer fools gladly, but I will gladly make fools suffer. -Bimmler
%
I wish you humans would leave me alone.
%
I wouldn't let a knight out on a dog like this!
%
I wouldn't marry her to a ten foot Pole.
%
I wouldn't marry him with a ten foot pole.
%
I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
%
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.
%
I'd rather have my mail delivered by Lockheed than ride in a plane built by the Post Office.
%
I'll produce anything that gets high ratings.  -Anonymous NBC official
%
I'll smoke when the pope's wife takes the pill.
%
I'm a Hollywood writer; so I put on a sports jacket and take off my brain.
%
I'm free -- and freedom tastes of reality.
%
I'm prepared for all emergencies but totally unprepared for everyday life.
%
I'm so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis.
%
IOT trap -- core dumped
%
IOT trap -- core melted
%
If A=B and B=C, then A=C, except where void or prohibited by law.  -Roy Santoro
%
If Congress must do a painful thing, it must be done in an odd-numbered year.
%
If God could perform the tricks we do, He'd be a happy man.
%
If God had wanted you to go around nude, He would have given you bigger hands.
%
If God is perfect, why did He create discontinuous functions?
%
If God lived on Earth, people would knock out all His windows.
%
If God meant for Texans to ski, He would have made them a mountain.
%
If God wanted us to have a President, He would have sent us a candidate.
%
If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith.  -Albert Einstein
%
If I owned Texas and Hell, I'd rent out Texas and live in Hell.
%
If I say it's safe to surf this beach, Captain, it's safe to surf this beach.
%
If I should return in my absence, kindly detain me until I get back.
%
If I wanted your opinion, I'd tell it to you.  -Samuel Goldwyn
%
If all economists were laid end to end, they would not reach a conclusion.
%
If anything can go wrong, it will.
%
If at first you don't succeed, quit; don't be a nut about success.
%
If at first you succeed, try to hide your astonishment.
%
If bankers can count, why do they have eight windows and only four tellers?
%
If butterflies had teeth like tigers they would never make it out of the hangar.
%
If ever I utter an oath again may my soul be blasted to eternal damnation.
%
If everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
%
If it doesn't matter, it does not matter.
%
If it happens, it must be possible.
%
If it pours before seven, it has rained by eleven.
%
If it's gratitude you want, get a dog. -- P. T. Barnum
%
If it's not broken, don't fix it.
%
If it's not worth doing, it's not worth doing well.
%
If it's worth doing well, it's worth doing.
%
If more is better then too much is just enough.
%
If music be the breakfast food of love, kindly do not disturb until lunch time. 
%
If the check is truly in the mail, it is surely made out to someone else.
%
If the coin is heads up don't pick it up.
%
If the experiment works, you must be using the wrong equipment.
%
If the facts do not support the theory, they must be disposed of.
%
If the government doesn't trust the people, why doesn't it elect a new people?
%
If the shoe fits, buy the other one, too.
%
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?  -Art Hoppe
%
If time heals all wounds, how come the belly button stays the same?
%
If voting could change the system, it would be against the law.
%
If we'd all been living in California, we wouldn't have worked at ALL.
%
If you ask how much it is, you can't afford it.
%
If you can't stand the heat, remove your clothing!
%
If you cannot convince them, confuse them.  -Harry S. Truman
%
If you do a job too well, you'll get stuck with it.
%
If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.
%
If you don't insist on correct answers, I can make it run as fast as you want.
%
If you don't know where you're going, it doesn't matter how you get there.
%
If you don't like the weather in New England, just wait a few minutes.
%
If you don't pay attention to every little detail, you miss most of the jokes.
%
If you gaze long enough into the abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you.
%
If you have to lie to someone, it's their fault.
%
If you have to think twice about it, you're wrong.
%
If you have to travel on the Titanic, why not go first class?
%
If you start now you might finish on time.
%
If you suspect a man, don't employ him.
%
If you take the last cup, make a new pot.
%
If you take the last pot, make a new cup.
%
If you think before you speak the other guy gets his joke in first.
%
If you think big enough, you'll never have to do it.
%
If you think it's hard going to the moon, you should try staying home.
%
If you think last Tuesday was a drag, wait till you see what happens tomorrow!
%
If you want to have clean ideas, change them like shirts.
%
If you were able to count up to infinity I'll bet you would never get over it.
%
If you're asked to join a parade, don't march behind the elephants.
%
If you're feeling good, don't worry.  You'll get over it.
%
If you're not apprehensive then you don't understand the situation.
%
If your experiment needs statistics, you ought to have done a better experiment. - E. Rutherford
%
Ignore alien orders.
%
Ignore previous fortune.
%
Il faut cultiver son jardins.  -Voltaire
%
Illegitimi non carborundum.
%
Immanuel Kant but Kubla Khan.
%
In Africa the tusks are too firmly rooted, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa.
%
In addition to a yes and a no, the universe contains a maybe. -D. Finkelstein
%
In an evolving universe, who stands still moves backwards.
%
In challenging a kzin, a simple scream of rage is sufficient.
%
In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy.
%
In nature there is immediate adjustment but no compulsion. -Chuang Chou
%
In rebus mathematicis errores quam minimi non sunt contemnendi.
%
In the land of the blind the one-eyed man can see across the road and prove it.
%
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
%
In the land of the one-eyed men, the blind have to wear glasses.
%
In this world, truth can wait; she's used to it.
%
Incest, like charity, begins at home.
%
Insanity is always the best defense against boredom.
%
Inside every large problem is a small problem struggling to get out.  -N. Wirth
%
Intermittent resolutions lack potency. -Robert Silverberg
%
Into each life a little fallout must rain. -Baba Rebop
%
It got to a point where I had to get a haircut or a violin. -F.D.Roosevelt
%
It is a poor judge who cannot award a prize.
%
It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
%
It is a very sad thing nowadays that there is so little useless information.
%
It is absurd to deny the role of fantasy in even the strictest science. -Lenin
%
It is bad luck to be superstitious.  -Andrew W. Mathis
%
It is better to have loved and lost -- much better.
%
It is better to have loved and lost than just to have lost.
%
It is better to kiss an avocado than to get in a fight with an aardvark.
%
It is better to light a single candle than to curse the darkness, except at the Browns Ferry reactor.
%
It is better to rule in Hell than to serve in Heaven.  -Milton
%
It is better to wear out than to rust out.
%
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
%
It is far better to vote for a loser than to elect?
%
It is fruitless to become lachrymal over precipitately departed lacteal fluid.
%
It is hard to sit with the turkeys when you soar with the eagles.
%
It is much easier to suggest solutions when you know nothing about the problem.
%
It is the business of the future to be dangerous.  -Hawkwind
%
It is the wise bird who builds her nest in a tree.
%
It seems like the less a statesman amounts to, the more he loves the flag.
%
It seems to make an auto driver mad if he misses you.
%
It steam-engines when it becomes steam-engine time.  -Charles Fort
%
It was a book to kill time for those who liked it better dead.
%
It works better if you plug it in.
%
It's a hardware problem.
%
It's a sad woman who buys her own perfume.
%
It's a software problem.
%
It's a useless but absolutely vital precaution.
%
It's business doing pleasure with you.
%
It's clever, but is it art?
%
It's difficult to explain Kleenex to an aborigine.
%
It's earlier than you think.
%
It's hard to be humble when you're perfect.
%
It's later than you think.
%
It's morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.
%
It's not Camelot, but it's not Cleveland, either.  -Boston Mayor Kevin White
%
It's not cool enough for the eighties.
%
It's not easy to play the clown when you've got to run the whole circus.
%
It's not my fault -- it's a mechanical problem!
%
It's not my fault!
%
It's not reality that's important, but how you perceive things.
%
It's not the years, it's the mileage.
%
It's simple, clean, it works, and you can get it right now. -Mike O'Dell
%
It's some kind of instinct...This was an important place in their lives.
%
It's the law: Use a pun, go to prism (for minor refractions of the law only!)
%
It's worse than being at the theatre.
%
Jam tomorrow and jam yesterday -- but never jam today.
%
Jesus saves, Moses invests, the Mongol Hoards, but only Buddah pays dividends.
%
Join me and I will complete your training.
%
Journalism will kill you, but it will keep you alive while you're at it.
%
Keep emotionally active.  Cater to your favorite neurosis.
%
Kids are always the only future the human race has. -William Saroyan
%
Kill ugly radio!
%
Klaatu barada nikto.
%
Kleeneliness is next to Goedeliness.
%
Label on a bottle of pills: "Do not take these pills if this label is missing"
%
Lack of leadership is no substitute for inaction.
%
Lando's not a system, he's a man.  He's a gambler, scoundrel.  You'd like him.
%
Language is a virus from outer space.  -William Burroughs.
%
Language is all that separates us from the lower animals and the bureaucrats.
%
Laugh and the world laughs with you;  snore and you sleep alone.
%
Laugh, and the world ignores you.  Crying doesn't help either.
%
Lay on, MacDuff, and curs'd be him who first cries, `Hold, enough!'
%
Leadership means taxes.
%
Lest men suspect your tale untrue,/Keep probability in view.  -John Gay (1727)
%
Let a fool hold his tongue and he will pass for a sage.
%
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
%
Let no one unskilled in geometry enter here.  -Plato
%
Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
%
Let sleeping wraiths lie.
%
Let's look at the record.  -Al Smith
%
Li'l dollink, always fetful.
%
Liar: One who tells an unpleasant truth.
%
Life is a giant shell and we're just processes.
%
Life is a yo-yo, and mankind ties knots in the string.
%
Life is hard but unjust.
%
Life is just a bowl.
%
Life is not for everyone.  -M. O'Donoghue
%
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
%
Like winter snow on summer lawn, time past is time gone.
%
Little girls have pretty curls, but I like Oreos.
%
Little things come in small packages.
%
Live forever, or die trying.
%
Live long and perspire.
%
Living in the past has one thing in its favour - it's cheaper.
%
Local disks are our FORTRAN.  -Warren Teitelman
%
Long computations which yield 0 (zero) are probably all for naught.
%
Longevity is an optimist's heaven and a pessimist's hell.
%
Look after the molehills and the mountains will look after themselves.
%
Lose a few, lose a few.
%
Losing your servo track is just God's way of saying `BOOGA, BOOGA!'
%
Love and scandal are the best sweeteners of tea.
%
Love is a many gendered thing.
%
Love is in the offing, said the homicidal maniac.
%
Love is only love, but money is forever.
%
Love the sea? I dote upon it - from the beach.
%
Love, and do what thou wilt.
%
Luke, don't give in to hate.  That leads to the dark side.
%
MOUNT TAPE U1439 ON B3, NO RING
%
Macro context switch under way, please do not log out!
%
Make War, not Love: killing is fun too. -Nicholas von Hoffman
%
Making outside money using our computers has resulted in suspension.
%
Making sense makes more sense than not making sense. -T. Duff
%
Male cadavers are incapable of yielding any testimony.
%
Man cannot live by bread alone: frequently, there must be beverage, too.
%
Man cannot live by bread alone; he needs a little peanut butter on it.
%
Man has created death.  -William Butler Yeats
%
Man is in doubt to deem himself a god or beast. -Alexander Pope
%
Man muss entweder der Hammer oder der Amboss sein.
%
Man who falls in vat of molten optical glass makes spectacle of self.
%
Man's horizons are bounded by his vision.
%
Many are called, few are chosen.  Fewer still get to do the choosing.
%
Many are called, few volunteer.
%
Many are cold, but few are frozen.
%
Many pages make a thick book.
%
Marriage is a ghastly public confession of a strictly private intention.
%
Marriage is an attempt to change a night owl into a homing pigeon.
%
Masterpieces make their own rules.
%
May the bluebird of happiness twiddle your bits.
%
May you live all the days of your life.
%
May your rolling stone always grow grass that is greener underneath.
%
Mcc may be slow and generate bad code, but it took a long time to develop.
%
Medeis ageometretos eisito mou ten stegen.  -Plato
%
Members of an avian species of identical plumage congregate.
%
Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.  -Dorothy Parker.
%
Men seldom show dimples to girls who have pimples.
%
Message will arrive in the mail.  Destroy, before the FBI sees it.
%
Micronics makes it simple.
%
Might as well be frank, monsieur. It would take a miracle to get you out of Casablanca.
%
Military justice is to justice as military music is to music.  -Clemenceau
%
Military music is to music as military intelligence is to intelligence
%
Mind your own business, Spock. I'm sick of your halfbreed interference.
%
Misery loves company, but company does not reciprocate.
%
Misfortunes arrive on wings and leave on foot.
%
Mistakes are oft the stepping stones to failure.
%
Money is the root of all evil, and man needs roots.
%
Money may buy friendship but money can not buy love.
%
Money will say more in one moment than the most eloquent lover can in years.
%
Most sacrilegious murder hath broke ope/The Lord's anointed temple.  -MacBeth
%
Most users are within a 10 mile radius.
%
Multi sunt vocati, pauci vero electi.
%
My broker is E. F. Hutton, and E. F. Hutton says...
%
My karma just ran over your dogma.
%
My way of joking is to tell the truth; it's the funniest joke in the world.
%
Naked is the best disguise.
%
National security is the chief cause of national insecurity.
%
Neither a borrower nor a lender be/For loan oft loses both itself and friend.
%
Nembutal numbs it all, but I prefer alcohol.  -Strummer/Jones
%
Never argue with a fool -- people might not know the difference.
%
Never buy a case of wine with eleven bottles.
%
Never call a man a fool.  Borrow from him.
%
Never eat anything bigger than your head.
%
Never eat in a restaurant that rotates or is above the 10th floor.
%
Never eat rutabaga on any day of the week that has a "y" in it.
%
Never give a inch!
%
Never hatchet your Counts before they chicken.
%
Never lick a gift horse in the mouth.
%
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
%
Never put off till tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.
%
Never speak ill of yourself; your friends will always say enough on that subject.
%
Never stow away on a kamikaze plane.
%
New career ideas are worth pursuing.
%
New crypt. See /usr/news/crypt.
%
Nihilism should commence with oneself.
%
No amount of genius can overcome a preoccupation with detail.
%
No directory
%
No directory!  Logging in with home=/
%
No good deed goes unpunished.
%
No jaggies!
%
No man's life, liberty or property are safe while the legislature is in session.
%
No news is good news.
%
No one can feel as helpless as the owner of a sick goldfish.
%
No two ways about it, there are two sides to every story.
%
Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
%
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!
%
Nobody is truly sane until he feels gratitude to the whole universe.
%
Nobody knows anything, or if they do, they are careful to hide the fact.
%
Nobody takes computer graphics seriously, even the guys that do it. -T. Duff
%
Non serviam.
%
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
%
Not all the water in a rough rude sea/Can wash the balm from an anointed king.
%
Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on Sundays.
%
Nothing astonishes men so much as common sense and plain dealing.
%
Nothing difficult is ever easy.  -Steve Falco
%
Nothing is as easy as it looks.
%
Nothing is impossible for the man who does not have to do it himself.
%
Nothing is impossible for the man who will not listen to reason.
%
Nothing is true.  Everything is permissible.  -Hassan i Sabbah
%
Nothing matters indeed, its all in your mind...
%
Now and then an innocent man is sent to the legislature.
%
Now is the winter of our discontent/Made glorious summer by this sun of York.
%
O brave new world,/That has such people in't!
%
O dear Ophelia! I am ill at these numbers: I have not art to reckon my groans.
%
O.T.O. wants you.
%
Of all forms of caution, caution in love is the most fatal.
%
Of all things man is the measure.  -Protagoras
%
Oh, don't the days seem lank and long, when all goes right and nothing goes wrong.
%
Oh, so there you are!
%
Old MacDonald had an agricultural real estate tax abatement.
%
Old age -- it's the only disease that you don't look forward to being cured of.
%
Omnibus ex nihil ducendis sufficit unum.  -Gottfried Wilhelm von Leibniz
%
On a clear disk you can seek forever.
%
One Bell System -- it sometimes works.
%
One Bell System -- it works.
%
One horse-laugh is worth ten thousand syllogisms.  -H. L. Mencken
%
One man tells a falsehood, a hundred repeat it as true.
%
One picture is worth 128k words.
%
Only %d shopping days until Christmas.
%
Only God can make a random selection.
%
Only someone with nothing to be sorry for smiles back at the rear of an elephant.
%
Only two things are infinite: the universe and human ignorance. -A. Einstein
%
Ontogeny recapitulates philogeny, or is that ontology recapitulates philology?
%
Ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny.  -Haeckel
%
Ontogeny rehashes phylogeny.
%
Order ignorant aliens.
%
Others will look to you for stability, so hide when you bite your nails.
%
Otto's too so-so to toss soot, too sot to toot SOSs. So?
%
Our sponsor thought it was for ADA. In fact it was for C.
%
Our vision will speed up time, eventually deleting it.  -Alexander Schure
%
Pack my box with five dozen liquor jugs.
%
Paranoia doesn't mean the whole world really isn't out to get you.
%
Password:
%
People get it into their heads that this is a democracy.  Well it isn't. -gwl
%
People really shouldn't spread gossip, but what else is it good for?
%
People tend to congregate in the back of the church and the front of the bus.
%
People usually do what other people have done before them.
%
People who take cat naps don't usually sleep in a cat's cradle.
%
People who think they know everything greatly annoy us who do.
%
People will buy anything that's one to a customer.
%
Perfect day for scrubbing the floor and other exciting things.
%
Perfect love casteth out fear.
%
Person who falls in blast furnace is certain to feel overwrought.
%
Personality is a flimsy thing on which to build an art. -John Cage
%
Philosophy is the Rule of Life.
%
Philosopy: unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.
%
Physician, bill thyself.
%
Please log off, the computer is out to lunch.
%
Please take note:
%
Pluralites non est punenda sine necessitate.  -Wm. of Occam
%
Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose.
%
Politicians, ugly buildings and whores all get respectable if they last long enough.
%
Populus vult decipi.
%
Pornography is in the groin of the beholder. -William F. Buckley
%
Post hoc, ergo propter hoc.
%
Post proelium, praemium.
%
Pregnant ropuli.
%
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.  -D. E. Knuth
%
Preserve wildlife -- pickle a squirrel today!
%
Prevention makes the heart grow fonder.
%
Primate behaviour only changes under the impact of new technology.
%
Pro is to con as progress is to Congress.
%
Progress is made on alternate Fridays.
%
Promptness is its own reward, if one lives by the clock instead of the sword.
%
Proofreading is more effective after publication.
%
Pulchritude possesses solely cutaneous profundity.
%
Put not your trust in money, but your money in trust.
%
Put your mouth where your mouth is.
%
Quantity is no substitute for quality, but its the only one we've got.
%
Quantum mechanics do it with uncertainty.
%
Questions are a burden for others; answers are a prison for oneself.
%
Rain before sunset, dark by midnight.
%
Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.
%
Reach out and grep someone.
%
Reading is thinking with someone else's head instead of one's own.
%
Real programs don't eat cache.
%
Reality is for those who can't handle drugs.
%
Reality is good for you...in small doses.
%
Reality is silly-putty.  -Paul Krassner
%
Reality seems harsher in the early morning.
%
Reason establishes the foundation of faith. Faith compensates the error of reason.
%
Reform always comes from below.  No man with four aces asks for a new deal.
%
Regnant populi.
%
Rei panta.
%
Religions revolve madly around sexual questions.
%
Remember the Unknown Buffalo.
%
Remember why the good Lord made your eyes -- Pla-gi-a-rize! -Tom Lehrer
%
Remember, UNIX spelled backwards is XINU.
%
Remember, even if you win the rat race -- you're still a rat.
%
Render unto Caesar if line 54 is larger than line 62.
%
Repetition is a form of change.  -B. Eno
%
Research is a great career: you get paid for looking, regardless of results.
%
Ring around the collar.
%
Ring the bell; close the book; quench the candle.
%
Ritual is to the inner sciences what experiment is to the outer sciences. -Leary
%
Rotten wood can not be carved  -Confucius (Analects, Book 5, Ch. 9)
%
Round numbers are always false.  -Samuel Johnson (c. 1750)
%
SCCS: the source-code motel -- your code checks in but it never checks out. Ken Thompson
%
I don't have a moral plan... I'm a Canadian. -- David Cronenberg.
%
I don't mind thinking slowly; I mind publishing faster than you think. - Pauli
%
It's not reality that's important, it's how you perceive things.
%
Sailors in ships, sail on! Even while we died, others rode out the storm.
%
Satire does not look pretty upon a tombstone.
%
Save a forest -- eat a beaver!
%
Save the dot files!
%
Save yourself!  Reboot in 5 seconds!
%
Say "no" to long-sleeved shirts!!  Support your right to bare arms!
%
Say your prayers, you're going to Zen heaven.
%
Schroedinger might have been here.
%
Scintillate, scintillate, aster minific.
%
Screw up your courage!  You've screwed up everything else.
%
Secrecy is the beginning of tyranny.
%
See that ocean -- that used to be some ocean. -Burt Lancaster in Atlantic City
%
Seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand.
%
Self denial is better than self degradation.
%
Sell everything. Market top has been reached. -Joseph Granville
%
Send not to ask for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.
%
Senor, if you hurry from here, you will wait longer there. -Mexico taxi driver
%
Share your happiness with others today.
%
She canna take much more o' this, Mr. Spock.
%
Shift to the left!  Shift to the right! Pop up! Push Down! Byte, byte, byte!
%
Show respect for age.  Drink good Scotch for a change.
%
Silver is pure. It's been a symbol of justice and purity since the year of the sun.
%
Sin has many tools, but a lie is the handle which fits them all.
%
Sink or Swim with Teddy!
%
Sleep is an excellent way of listening to an opera.
%
Smile ... tomorrow will be worse.
%
Smooth rotation butters no parsnips.  -J. W. Tukey
%
Snatch the pebble from my hand, Grasshopper.
%
Snob intellectual bachelors can't have fun in San Antonio.  -Ted Nelson
%
Snoopy has fleas.
%
Snow Day -- stay home.
%
Social innovations tend to the level of minimum tolerable well being.
%
Soft soap often has a high percentage of lye in it. -- Salada Tea
%
Solve et coagule.
%
Some day this war's gonna end.
%
Some days chicken salad -- some days chicken shit.
%
Some men are discovered; others are found out.
%
Some scholars are like donkeys, they merely carry a lot of books.
%
Some things are better left unsaid.
%
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. -Sigmund Freud
%
Sometimes you've gotta give it all you've got, because it just isn't enough.
%
Soon you will be sitting on top of the world.
%
Sooner or later everybody's gotta pay their tab.
%
Sorting on the part of mendicants must be interdicted.
%
Space travel is utter bilge.  -Sir Richard Van Der Riet Wolley
%
Spare no expense to save money on this one.  -Samuel Goldwyn
%
Speaking of poison, I'll see that you get some fresh breakfast immediately.
%
Specialization is for insects.  -Robt. A. Heinlein
%
Spend extra time on hobby.  Get plenty of rolling papers.
%
Split a stick of wood, and the Christ is there, too.
%
Spock: We suffered 23 casualties in that attack, Captain.
%
Standing on head makes smile of frown, but rest of face also upside down.
%
Stay away from flying saucers today.
%
Stay away from hurricanes for a while.
%
Stop searching forever. Happiness is just next to you.
%
Stop searching forever. Happiness is unattainable.
%
Stop searching.  Happiness is right next to you.
%
Succumb to natural tendencies.  Be hateful and boring.
%
Sum quod eris.
%
Surprise due today.  Also the rent.
%
Surprise your boss.  Get to work on time.
%
Surveillance should precede salientation.
%
System down Tues. am for COBOL compiler installation.
%
System going down at 1:45 this afternoon for disk crash.
%
System going down for 5 minutes -- back up in half an hour.
%
System going down in 5 minutes.
%
System might crash at any moment.
%
TSO -- it may be slow, but it's hard to use.
%
Tai Chi is self-defense for people on Quaaludes.
%
Take care of the luxuries and the necessities will take care of themselves.
%
Take care of your peonies and the dahlias will take care of themselves.
%
Teach it ... phenomenology.
%
Ten years of rejection slips is nature's way of telling you to stop writing.
%
Terminals at home are always in the bedroom.
%
Thank God I'm an atheist.  -Aleister Crowley
%
Thank you for choosing UNIX -- batteries not included, some assembly required.
%
That goes against the laws of Physics.
%
That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all.
%
That we can comprehend the little we know already is mindboggling in itself.
%
That which does not kill me makes me stronger.
%
That which does not kill me missed.
%
That which is above is in that which is below.
%
That's as American as pie charts.
%
The Angels want to wear my red shoes.
%
The Constitution gives us freedom of religion, not freedom from religion -R Reagan
%
The Force is strong with this one.
%
The Force is with you, young Skywalker, but you are not a Jedi yet.
%
The Government urges you to remain calm.
%
The PIXAR -- it's not just a job, it's an adventure.
%
The Tree of Learning bears the noblest fruit, but noble fruit tastes bad.
%
The UFO and the BVM seem to be the same phenomenon.  -Jacques Vallee
%
The United States Army: 194 years of proud service, unhampered by progress.
%
The aim of existence is to offer resistance to the flow of time.
%
The attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive.
%
The best prophet of the future is the past.
%
The better part of valour is discretion; in the which better part I have saved my life.
%
The churches must learn humility as well as teach it.
%
The coroner gave you a clean bill of health.
%
The darkest hour is just before the storm.
%
The decision doesn't have to be logical, it was unanimous.
%
The early bird gets the coffee left over from the night before.
%
The early worm gets the bird.
%
The earth is like a tiny grain of sand, only much, much heavier.
%
The empty fist always makes the deepest wound.
%
The end is closer than you think.
%
The enemy is ignorance [our own].  -Ezra Pound
%
The eyes believe themselves, the ears believe other people.
%
The first piece of luggage out of the chute doesn't belong to anyone, ever.
%
The first step in fixing something is getting it to break.
%
The fit between the world and the human symbols describing it is never perfect.
%
The fruits of impatience are bitter.
%
The further you get, the better it looks.
%
The future isn't what it used to be. (It never was.)
%
The future isn't what it used to be. -Arthur C. Clarke
%
The gods do not protect fools.  Fools are protected by more capable fools.
%
The hardest job kids face today is learning good manners without seeing any.
%
The hardest part of raising children is teaching them to ride bicycles.
%
The hippo has no sting, but the wise man would rather be sat upon by the bee.
%
The judge's jokes are always funny.
%
The ketchup of sorrow is better than the mustard of happiness.
%
The last twenty-nine days of the month are the worst. -Nicola Tesla
%
The love of money is the mucilage of many a tragic friendship -Stuart McMillan
%
The man of knowledge can see several things at once.
%
The measure of the rigor of a science is the index of its ability to predict.
%
The meek shall inherit the earth -- they are too weak to refuse.
%
The more complicated the mind, the more simple the play.
%
The more things change, the more they'll never be the same again.
%
The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.
%
The nervous system sees no color, feels no pain.  -T. Leary
%
The only imperfect thing in nature is the human race.
%
The only one who got everything done by Friday was Robinson Crusoe.
%
The only people who listen to both sides of an argument are the neighbors.
%
The only sure things in life are net.suicide and net.taxes.
%
The only thing cheaper than hardware is talk.
%
The opera isn't over until the fat lady sings.
%
The opposite of a trivial truth is false; the opposite of a great truth is also true.
%
The pearl the squirrel the girl hit bit split.
%
The play's the thing/Wherein I'll catch the conscience of the king.
%
The plural of spouse is spice.
%
The polhode rolls without slipping on the herpolhode lying in the invariant plane.
%
The policeman isn't there to create disorder, he's there to preserve disorder.
%
The prudent man does not hold his breath.
%
The reason Swedes put little o's over some A's is that they are pronounced "o".
%
The reason Swedes put little o's over some A's is that they are pronounced `o'.
%
The religion that is afraid of science dishonors God and commits suicide.
%
The shorter the line, the slower it moves.
%
The shortest distance between two points is off the wall.
%
The shortest distance between two points is under construction.  -Noelie Altito
%
The solution to the problem of life is seen in the vanishing of the problem.
%
The stapler runs out of staples only while you are trying to staple something.
%
The strength of a nation lies in the integrity of its homes.  -Confucius
%
The stylus is more potent than the claymore.
%
The sword he sang a song of death/But could not make the sickle yield.  -Blake
%
The thing about Chinatown is, you can never be sure of anything down there.
%
The three faithful things in life are money, a dog and an old woman.
%
The three laws of physics: f=ma; things fall down; you can't push a rope.
%
The time is right to make new friends.
%
The unexamined life is not worth examining.
%
The universe is laughing behind your back.
%
The vanity of teaching often tempteth a man to forget that he is a blockhead.
%
The wheels of justice grind slow but fine.
%
The whole UNIX operating system was ripped off electronically.
%
The wise shepherdess never trusts her flock to a smiling wolf.
%
The world cannot be understood from a single point of view.  -Eleanor Roosevelt
%
The world ended yesterday-this is only a dream!
%
The world ended yesterday-why are you still here?
%
The world is a conspiracy of the unthinking against the unwitting.
%
The world is all that is the case. -Wittgenstein
%
The world is coming to an end!  Repent and return those library books!
%
Them that dishes it out need not fall over every time someone blows hard.
%
There are more old drunkards than old doctors.
%
There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio,/Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
%
There are more ways of killing a cat than choking her with cream.
%
There are no color bars in Cuba.
%
There is a fly on your nose.
%
There is a person with a shovel behind you ready to crack open your skull!
%
There is a tide in the affairs of men/Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune;
%
There is a world in which this sentence ends with a different word.
%
There is no bottom to worse.
%
There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear.
%
There is no gift like the present.
%
There is no governor anywhere; you are absolutely free.
%
There is no present like the TIMES.
%
There is no present like time.
%
There is no time like the pleasant.
%
There is nothing more permanent than a temporary building.
%
There is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax.
%
There was a phone call for you.
%
There's a broken light for every heart on Broadway.
%
There's a divinity that shapes our ends,/Rough-hew them how we will.
%
There's a sucker reborn every minute.
%
There's a vas deferens between man and woman.
%
There's always one more bug.
%
There's got to be more to life than compile-and-go.
%
There's insanity in my family; starting with me, tonight.
%
There's no place like home.
%
There's no room in the drug world for amateurs.
%
There's something in this universe that I don't understand. -T. Duff
%
They live happiest who have forgiven most.
%
They're only trying to make me LOOK paranoid!
%
Things are more like they are now then they have ever been before. -Eisenhower
%
Things are more like they used to be than they are new.
%
Things that go without saying go even better if they are said.  -Talleyrand
%
Things will be bright in P.M.  A cop will shine a light in your face.
%
Think of your family tonight.  Try to crawl home after the computer crashes.
%
This *means* something.  -R. Neary
%
This fortune intentionally not included.
%
This fortune is inoperative.  Please try another.
%
This fortune is self-explanatory, once you understand it.
%
This fortune left blank intentionally.
%
This fortune was not meant for you.
%
This is Emmanuel. I got him from Emmanuel Training School. He's Emmanuel like.
%
This space available.  Call 686-7600 for details.
%
This statement is a lie.
%
This terminal is not for your use, please log off!
%
This will be a memorable month -- no matter how hard you try to forget it.
%
Thos who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
%
Those who can't write, write manuals.
%
Those who can, do; those who can't, simulate.
%
Those who can, do; those who can't, write.
%
Those who can, do; those who can't, write.  Those who can't write work for the Bell Labs Record.
%
Those who in quarrels interpose must often wipe a bloody nose.
%
Those who talk don't know. Those who don't talk, know.
%
Thrashing is just virtual crashing.
%
Three shoes do not a hat make.
%
Thunder is impressive, but it is lightning that does the work. -Mark Twain
%
Time ends here, please go back the way you came.
%
Time flies like an arrow but fruit flies like a banana.
%
Time is nature's way of making sure that everything doesn't happen at once.
%
Time is three eyes and eight elbows.
%
Timesharing just doesn't work. -K. Thompson, 1982.
%
To be is to be related.
%
To be or not to be, those are the parameters.
%
To criticize the incompetent is easy; it is more difficult to criticize the competent.
%
To cross again is not to cross.
%
To err is human, to forgive is not libary [sic] policy. quoted by Herb Caen
%
To err is human, to really foul things up requires a computer!
%
To iterate is human, to recurse, divine.
%
To laugh at men of sense is the privilege of fools.
%
To live without clocks is to live forever. -RLS
%
To make an enemy, do someone a favor.
%
To play billiards well is a sign of an ill-spent youth.
%
To possess another language is to possess another soul.  -Charles V
%
Today is a good day to bribe a high-ranking public official.
%
Today is the first day of the rest of your miserable life.
%
Today is yesterday's tomorrow.
%
Today the pits, tomorrow the wrinkles -- Sunsweet marches on.
%
Together we must rise to higher and higher platitudes.  -Richard Daley
%
Together we will rule the galaxy, father and son.  Luke...it is your destiny.
%
Tonight's the night:  Sleep in a eucalyptus tree.
%
Too Much.
%
Too much of a good thing is WONDERFUL. -Mae West
%
Torque is cheap.
%
Toto, I've a feeling we're not in Kansas any more.
%
Travel important today;  Internal Revenue men arrive tomorrow.
%
Tres sabios hubo en el mundo, Adan, Solomom y Raymundo.
%
Troglodytism does not necessarily imply a low cultural level.
%
Troubles are like babies; they only grow by nursing.
%
Truth is only skin deep.
%
Truth will be out this morning.  (Which may really mess things up.)
%
Try `stty 0' -- it works much better.
%
Try again
%
Try the Moo Shu Pork.  It is especially good today.
%
Try to divide your time evenly to keep others happy.
%
Turning the other cheek merely ensures two bruised cheeks.
%
Two fish in the sky are worth more than a bird in the sea.
%
UFO's are for real: the Air Force doesn't exist.
%
Unbidden guests/Are often welcomest when they are gone.
%
Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.
%
Unemployment is not a disease; so it has no `cure.'
%
Unix soit qui mal y pense.
%
Unknown Jerome's -- Dorothy's desk -- $.25 while they last!!
%
Usura contra naturum est.
%
Usus, Quen penes arbitrium est, et jus, et norma loquendi.  -Horace
%
VAX/VMS -- Software for the 60's.
%
VAX/VMS is like a nightmare about RSX.
%
Versatility is one of your outstanding traits.
%
Vests are to suits as seat-belts are to cars.
%
Vigilia pretium libertatis.
%
Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.  -Salvador Hardin
%
Viva Nuestra Senora Guadalupe y jueron gubernacion mala.  -Father Hidalgo
%
Vote anarchist.
%
Warning: I brake for no apparent reason.
%
Warning: this fortune may change your life.
%
Waste not, get your budget cut next year.
%
Wasting time is an important part of living.
%
We aim to please, but our aim is bad.
%
We are faced with an insurmountable opportunity.  -- W. Kelley
%
We are not in any immediate danger of having solutions that exceed the needs.
%
We continue to overlook the fact that work has become a leisure activity.
%
We did it for nothing, we did it in an hour, and the whole thing worked.
%
We don't know half of what we know.
%
We haul ours to kick theirs.
%
We have met the enemy, and he is us.  -Walt Kelly
%
We have the finest politicians money can buy.
%
We learn from history that we do not learn anything from history.
%
We place no reliance/on Virgin or pigeon;/Our method is science,/Our aim is religion.  -Aleister Crowley
%
We regard matrimony as a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
%
We retard what we cannot repel, we palliate what we cannot cure. -Johnson
%
We seem to be made to suffer.  It's our lot in life.
%
We shall never get people whose time is money to take much interest in atoms. -S. Butler
%
We try harder, they do better.
%
We want no foreign rulers - fight the metric system.
%
We would like to apologize for the following announcement:
%
We've lost 4 crays to the open environment.
%
Welcome to the working week.
%
Well, the handwriting is on the floor. -Joe E. Lewis
%
Well, we had Chinese food again for lunch.
%
What I like about scientists is that they are a team, so that one need not know their names. -J Wilmot
%
What I tell you three times is true.  -The Hunting of the Snark.
%
What do you call a half-dozen Indians with Asian flu?  Six sick Sikhs (sic).
%
What does it mean if there is no fortune for you?
%
What garlic is to salad, insanity is to art.
%
What good are the games if you ain't got the power?
%
What have you done for Vic lately?
%
What if I go to New York and can't trust a menu?
%
What is mind? No matter.  What is matter? Never mind.  -Thomas Hewitt Key
%
What the hell, go ahead and put all your eggs in one basket.
%
What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.
%
What use is magic if it can't save a unicorn?  -Peter S. Beagle
%
What's in a name? That which we call a rose/By any other name would smell as sweet.
%
What's it all about?  We're all tools.  Life's just a crock.
%
What's the point to combing your hair when it's grey and thinning?
%
When all else fails, read the instructions.
%
When all is said and done, a lot more is said than done.
%
When an owl comes to a mouse picnic, it's not there for the sack races.
%
When better machines are built, greg will break them.
%
When bigger machines are built, scj will saturate them.
%
When does later become never?
%
When everyone's out to get you, paranoia is just good thinking.
%
When faced with the obvious -- look elsewhere.
%
When four sit to conspire, three are government agents, and the other a fool.
%
When in doubt, lead trump.
%
When in trouble or in doubt, run in circles; scream and shout.
%
When marriage is outlawed, only outlaws will have inlaws.
%
When the Lord gets ready, you got to move.
%
When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping.
%
When the going gets tough, the tough hold meetings.
%
When the map and the terrain disagree, trust the terrain. -Swiss army aphorism
%
When the wind is great, bow before it; when the wind is heavy, yield to it.
%
When traveling with a herd of elephants, don't be first to lie down and rest.
%
When you are over the hill, you pick up speed.
%
When you need a sledgehammer, the finest scalpel just won't do.
%
Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I haven't tried before. -Mae West
%
Where do you think you are, Civilization?
%
Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent.  -Wittgenstein
%
Who can worry about a super-hero who vanishes when you change channels?
%
Who is W. O. Baker, and why is he saying those terrible things about me?
%
Who is the slayer, who the slain?  Speak...  -Sophocles, Oedipus Rex
%
Who knows if there are any answers? -Edmund G. Brown, Jr.
%
Who needs companionship when you can sit alone in your room and drink?
%
Who's afraid of Louisa May Alcott?
%
Whom the gods must destroy they first must drive insane.
%
Why do we have two eyes?  To watch 3D movies with.
%
Why isn't there a special name for the tops of your feet?  -Lily Tomlin
%
Why worry about tomorrow, when today is so far off?
%
Will nobody help the widow's son?
%
With clothes the new are best, with friends the old are best.
%
With redeeming social value like yours, no wonder you're obscene.
%
With/Without -- and who denies it's what the fighting's all about?
%
Women seldom show dimples to guys who have pimples.
%
Wonderful girl!  Either I'm going to kill her or I'm beginning to like her.
%
Words are the voice of the heart.
%
Words must be weighed, not counted.
%
Work expands to fill the time available for its completion. -C.N. Parkinson
%
Worth seeing? Yes, but not worth going to see.
%
Writing free verse is like playing tennis with the net down.
%
Yamata wasami shuza.
%
Yea, from the table of my memory/I'll wipe away all trivial fond records.
%
Yogsothoth Neblod Zin.
%
You always think you know what you're doing, but you're too slick for your own good.
%
You are going to have a new love affair.
%
You are in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike.
%
You are original and creative.
%
You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme stupidity.
%
You auto buy now.
%
You can create your own opportunities this week.  Blackmail a senior executive.
%
You can lead a horticulture but you cannot make her think. - Dorothy Parker
%
You can't beat the bugs.
%
You can't build a bomb at 300 baud.
%
You can't capitalize your cake and expense it too.
%
You can't comb a hairy ball smooth.
%
You can't fall off the floor.
%
You can't go home again, unless you set $HOME
%
You can't have everything -- where would you put it?
%
You can't teach a dead dog new tricks.
%
You can't win, you can't break even, and you can't get out of the game.
%
You can't win.  But there are alternatives to fighting.
%
You cannot buy beer; you can only rent it.
%
You cannot cross a chasm in two steps.
%
You cannot kill time without injuring eternity.
%
You cook it, you sell it.
%
You display the wonderful traits of charm and courtesy.
%
You don't have to play tennis any more, or talk to anyone who does.
%
You don't really want to know what the future holds for you.
%
You had mail.
%
You have an ambitious nature and may make a name for yourself.
%
You have been selected for a secret mission.
%
You have been transfixed by the gaze of the Edlund.--More--
%
You have bills.
%
You have had a long-term stimulation relative to business.
%
You have made an excellent hit on the UNIX.--More--
%
You have mail.
%
You have personal talents that are attractive to others.  Be sure to use them.
%
You have plate mail.
%
You have slowmail.
%
You have snails.
%
You have splint mail.
%
You have taken yourself too seriously.
%
You have the capacity to learn from mistakes.  You'll learn a lot today.
%
You know, you never know.
%
You look strong enough to pull the ears off a Gundark!
%
You may be recognized soon.  Hide.
%
You may have a friend at the Chase Manhattan but at our bank you have meshpocheh!
%
You might have mail.
%
You never know what you don't know, you know?
%
You now have Asian Flu.
%
You remind me of a TV show, but that's all right: I watch it anyway.
%
You scream and you leap.
%
You seek to shield those you love and you like the role of the provider.
%
You should go home.
%
You tend to be shy when undressing outdoors.
%
You want it bad, you'll get it bad.
%
You weren't here so we did it anyway.
%
You will attend a party where strange customs prevail.
%
You will be Told about it Tomorrow.  Go Home and Prepare Thyself.
%
You will be a winner today.  Pick a fight with a four-year-old.
%
You will be surprised by a loud noise.
%
You will feel hungry again in another hour.
%
You will make a small sum by investing in a business project.
%
You will make a small sum disappear by investing in a business project.
%
You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy.
%
You will step on the night soil of many countries.
%
You win some, you lose some, and some go into extra innings.
%
You worry too much about your job.  Stop it.  You are not paid enough to worry.
%
You'll just have to sleep faster tonight.
%
You're being followed.  Cut out the hanky-panky for a few days.
%
You're so bossy you ought to be milked before you come home at night.
%
You're so ugly you couldn't even get a date with an automated bank teller.
%
You've always got the option of having just committed suicide!
%
You've been leading a dog's life.  Stay off the furniture.
%
Your best dreams may not come true; but then neither will your worst dreams.
%
Your computer account is overdrawn.  Please reauthorize.
%
Your editor doesn't always know best.
%
Your emotional nature is strong and sensitive
%
Your empty file directory has been deleted.
%
Your login has been changed.
%
Your love life will be happy and harmonious.
%
Your mind understands what you have been taught; your heart, what is true.
%
Your password is pitifully obvious.
%
Your present plans are going to succeed.
%
Your supervisor is thinking about you.
%
Your theory is crazy, but not crazy enough to be true.
%
`By the way, microcode is no big deal.  You can emulate it in random logic.'
%
`Drawing on my fine command of language, I said nothing.'
%
`He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes...'
%
`Otto' spelled inside out is `toot.'
%
`Qvid me anxivs svm?'
%
`The time (6:39 pm) has come,' the Walrus said, `to talk of many things...'
%
`The time has come,' the Walrus said, `to talk of many things...'
%
`We don't care.  We don't have to.  We're the Phone Company.'
%
`is false when preceded by its quotation' is false when preceded by its quotation.
%
`is not a sentence' is not a sentence.
%
chess tonight
%
f u cn rd ths u cn gt a gd jb n cmptr pgmng.
%
f u cn rd ths u cn gt a gd jb n tk wr
%
f u cn rd ths, itn tyg h myxbl cd.
%
fortune: Command not found.
%
fortune: not found
%
go suck on an infinite tube.
%
gt: warning -- bad idea to override alpha computation on matted-to-black target
%
hang in there, hammock-nose
%
no shell.
%
panic: trap
%
pm monday am
%
startup: system error -- directory deleted
%
too much.
%
Gallium Arsenide is the material of the future and it always will be.
%
Unix is the only significant operating system whose documentation fits in a student's briefcase. John Lions (Fixed in 4.1BSD)
%
Programming and puddings demand consistency.
%
`I saw it with my own eyes' means you wanted to see it.
%
There used to be men and women.  Now there are men and persons.
%
If some day it should happen that a victim must be found, I've got a little list, I've got a little list.
%
You cannot count friends that are all packed up in barrels.
%
If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
%
A mighty maze! but not without a plan. -Pope
%
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
%
Real programmers can't say `lint' without following it with `hbaxcu.' -Wm Leler
%
Once TOAD is operational, how frequently would you expect to access TOAD?
%
jim is a nice editor except that it runs on the Blit. -- W. Joy
%
The Blit is a nice terminal, but it runs emacs.
%
The number of UNIX installations has grown to 10, with more expected. - 2nd Edition UNIX manual
%
The number of approved [COBOL] subsets has been reduced from 104,976 to 54. - JM Triance
%
You can get HELP any time you are using TEACH by returning to the command state and typing "S 160".
%
Even if I could be Shakespeare, I think I should still choose to be Faraday. - A. Huxley
%
If I could remember the names of all these particles I'd be a botanist. - Fermi
%
The one interesting fact about the Diplodocus is that the accent is on the second syllable.
%
    ON ENDFILE(SYSIN)  GO TO ADATHIBA;  /* FILE-VEGE VIZSGALATA */
%
Hi, this is Ken. What's the root password?
%
Home is where / is.
%
If you want to go somewhere, goto is the best way to get there. K Thompson
%
Beauty is only sin deep. H H Munro
%
C'est CHouette.  Swiss bumper sticker
%
Y drag goch yr y gchwyn!
%
Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder.
%
The sterile pleasure of being right tends to get stale in the course of a lifetime.  EW Dijkstra
%
One scythe fits all.
%
Shadows slick as eels slither through.
%
Expected arrival date is presently unknown. Dave Kristol
%
A recently completed trial proved TOAD Generic 1 to be reliable, user-friendly, and convenient.
%
The 3B2 Model 100 - the first machine with cat -v in ROM!
%
awk: Usage: awk [-f source | 'cmds'] [files]; record number 3.55646e-311
%
You can't forward backward. - Dan Nowitz
%
It's time to gearshift up from the crawl we've been in to a full trot. - Jack Scanlon
%
The SUN really is a hunk of junk. - Tom Duff
%
Maybe I should have screwed up. - Ken Thompson
%
Die ich rief, die Geister, / Werd ich nun nicht los.
%
Don't rely on your nose -- TEST ATMOSPHERE!
%
Eileen L. Behr has translated her skill in public speaking into a successful career selling capacitors.
%
Restrain your octopus!  The canoes are going fishing tomorrow.
%
Whenever the Queen comes to New Zealand the Maori people suffer a disaster.
%
Have you hugged Joe Condon today?
%
4.2BSD may not be a complete disaster, but it does a good job of emulating one.
%
CB is a great place to work. There are so many good going away parties.
%
Why is it called a stream I/O system when the data flows both ways?
%
We never stand still longer than it takes to have an argument.
%
The screen rectangle must be charged with emotion.  Hitchcock
%
You may enjoy the infamous PEOPLExpress snack pack for one dollar.
%
Give me a rock, paper and scissors and I will move the world.  CCFestoon
%
Had Cleopatra's nose been shorter, the whole history of the world would have been different. - Pascal
%
I don't even know what street Canada is on. - Al Capone
%
Niagara Falls would be much more impressive if it flowed the other way. - Oscar Wilde
%
California is a fine place to live if you happen to be an orange. - Fred Allen
%
Ducking for apples.  Change one letter and it's the story of my life. _ Dorothy Parker
%
The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers. - Henry V, part II.
%
There is no sin except stupidity. - Oscar Wilde
%
An artist is never ahead of his time, but most people are far behind theirs. - Varese
%
awk: illegal statement 206620
%
All my men wear badges, or they wear nothing at all.
%
The sheep - symbolic creature of docility, sacrifice and stupidity.
%
We should acknowledge the 10000-year sheep heritage of mankind. - Judge Clyde Burch.
%
If we turn on the lights fast enough, we'll see what the dark looks like.
%
My program is so jammed with clever tricks - GJ Holzmann
%
"The Dresser," first a play, then a movie, then AT&T headquarters.
%
The null string has always been a productive source of off-by-0 errors.
%
The contrary of an aggregate is the compound of the contraries of the aggregates. - De Morgan
%
The contrary of a compound is the aggregate of the contraries of the components. - De Morgan
%
From EXPLMY: Serious internal error, check the error code in the documentation of VRFYMY.
%
"x.c", line 1: cannot recover from earlier errors: goodbye!
%
A Point is a pair of shorts.
%
	case '\7': *((char *)(384*1024L+062)) = 2;	/* beep */
%
I have NEVER written a program in C!  Narain Gehani
%
It's an empty head that wears a hairpiece. - Pauline Kael
%
"Analysis" is "design" spelled backwards.
%
"Sdrawkcab delleps esnes yna ekam t`nseod" doesn't make any sense spelled backwards.
%
"Sound advice" is usually mostly sound with not much advice.
%
%-W-NORML Normal Successful Completion
%
55mph -- It's not a good idea, it's just the law.
%
A consistent indentation style is the hobgoblin of little minds.
%
A fool and his money stabilize the economy.
%
A gentleman is one who is never rude unintentionally.  -Noel Coward
%
A hacker does for love what others would not do for money.
%
A hydrogen bomb doesn't care how brave you are.
%
A liberal is one who is too open-minded to take his own side in an argument.
%
A man does not attain the status of Galileo merely because he is persecuted;  he must also be right. -Stephen Jay Gould
%
A penny saved is a political breakthrough.
%
A penny saved kills your career in the Pentagon.
%
A rolling stone gathers momentum.
%
A rose by any other name would still have thorns.
%
A stitch in time keeps your tu-tu from becoming a four-four.
%
A578 Your FLP overflows into your KBUF.
%
Ablata at alba.
%
All the great men are dead and I'm not feeling too well myself.
%
All you need to know is in the manual.
%
Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an *art*. -Chas. McCabe
%
Any man's speeding ticket on the Interstate diminishes me, for I am involved in mankind.
%
Anyone's life is incomplete unless they are, in some smaller or larger way, saving the world.
%
Arabic is a language, Persian is a sweetmeat, and Turkish is an art.
%
Are you kidding?
%
Are you sure you want a two dimensional array?
%
Automating a mess yields an automated mess. -Michael Hammer
%
Ave discordia.
%
Better be right or your big venture goes wrong. -Resistor color code mnemonic
%
Bigamy is having one wife too many.  Monogamy is the same.
%
C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas Unix. -Henry Spencer
%
Can all this just be an accident?  Or could there be some alien intelligence behind it?
%
Capitalism is indeed obsessed with money, but Marxism is obsessed with Marxism.
%
Club sandwiches, not baby seals.
%
Cocaine is nature's way of telling you that you make too much money.
%
Constants aren't.  Variables don't.  LISP does.  Functions won't.  Bytes do.
%
Contains no kung fu, car chases or decapitations.
%
Core Error - Bus Dumped
%
Creativity is no substitute for knowing what you are doing.
%
Dames is like streetcars -- The oceans is full of 'em. -Archie Bunker
%
Dangerous knowledge is a little thing.
%
Data potato, du wop du wop.
%
Do not confuse boredom with security.
%
Do not confuse effort with work.
%
Does the early bird enjoy the worm as much as the late bird enjoys the sleep?
%
Don't get mad, make book.
%
Don't worry, it's not loaded.
%
Don't worry, they couldn't hit an elephant at this dist
%
Don't you feel more like you do now than you did when you came in?
%
ERROR CREEPOUT HAS BEGUN
%
Eat snart foobs.  -Unknown Jerome
%
Even the simplest solution is bound to have something wrong with it.
%
Ever wake up feeling like a null pointer? -Allan Pratt
%
Everything should be as simple as possible, but no simpler. - A. Einstein
%
Everything's been said before, but nobody's listening, so keep repeating.
%
Exhibition will continue to decline and  ultimately lead to other sources of entertainment.
%
Expected arrival date
 is presently unknown.
 Dave Kristol
%
FOR SALE: Schroedinger's cat.  Might be alive.  Might not.
%
Facta, non verba -- et verbum caro factus est.
%
Far too noisy, my dear Mozart.  Far too many notes. -Emperor Ferdinand.
%
Fill what's empty; empty what's full; scratch where it itches. -Alice Roosevelt Longworth
%
Find the enemy and shoot him down; everything else is rubbish. -M. von Richthofen
%
First things first.  Why not send for the Nazis right now.
%
Fortran est; non potest legi.
%
Generalizations are useful.  The work contained in them can be reckoned as labor and therefore can create value.  -G.W. Hegel
%
Go suck on an infinite tube.
%
Good Rule: Don't put anything in your mouth labeled "HARMFUL IF SWALLOWED"
%
Good day for flaming at floyd!trb.
%
Good day to do the unexpected:  write some documentation.
%
Good day to write a purchase requisition for a 747.
%
Good intentions don't mean anything unless they can deliver.
%
Graecum est; non potest legi.
%
Hang by your pseudopod, write if you find a warm rich planet ripe for conquest.
%
Hang in there, hammock-nose.
%
Have you hugged my T-shirt today?
%
He that laugheth in the face of death haveth the last laugh.
%
He who hesitates is scrap metal.
%
He who trains his tongue to quote from learned sages will be known far and wide as a smartass.
%
Hypothesize and test.
%
I don't like to walk, and I don't like to paddle. -James Watt
%
I don't mind thinking slowly; I mind publishing faster than you think. -Pauli
%
I have 36 rolls of 5247 for our use in the laser fridge...
%
I have everything we will need.
%
I haven't lost my mind.  I've got it backed up on tape somewhere.
%
I kissed my first lady and smoked my first cigarette on the same day.  I have never had time for tobacco since. -Arturo Toscanini
%
I like user-hostile ignorance-based amateur systems.
%
I love you.
%
I new it was coming and I still felt as if I'd swallowed a snowcone whole.
%
I regard an original error as better than a borrowed truth. -Merton.
%
I was just going to call you.
%
I wish I had time to explain dimensional transcendentalism -Dr. Who
%
I wonder what will happen if I touch these two wires together.
%
I'm from the government, and I'm here to help you.
%
I've done this before and never had any trouble.
%
If God had meant Texans to ski, he would have made bullshit white.
%
If I could remember the names of all these particles I would have been a botanist. -- Enrico Fermi
%
If Lincoln were alive today he would be spinning in his grave. -G. Ford
%
If a thousand people say a foolish thing, it remains a foolish thing.
%
If ignorance were cornflakes, you'd be General Mills.
%
If it were dangerous they would post a sign...
%
If the "medium is the message" then the message of low-bandwidth timesharing is "blah". -- Alan Kay
%
If there are any resources you need to get this job done, just let us know.
%
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
%
Illegal Arbitrator - Line 23
%
In New York they signal the wrong way just to fuck you up.  -David Yost
%
In any society, the correct pronunciation is the dialect that has an army.
%
In case of fire, stand in the hall and shout "Fire!".
%
In communism Man exploits Man.  In capitalism it's the other way around.
%
In comparison with the ancients, we stand like dwarfs on the shoulders of giants. -Bernard of Chartres
%
In girum imus nocte et consumimur igni.
%
In order to make an omelette, you have to break a few cooks.
%
It is far better to vote for a loser than to elect one.
%
It is useless to put on your brakes when you're upside down. -Paul Newman
%
It would appear that even BTL employees put their pants on one leg at a time.
%
It's 5 o'clock.  Do you know where your files are?
%
It's Your Environment -- Use It Up!
%
It's a small world, but I'd hate to have to paint it.
%
It's hard to love someone who looks down on you because your hands get bloody protecting him.
%
It's just a silly native superstition.
%
It's lonely at the top, but it's lonelier at the bottom.
%
It's not reality that's important, but how you perceive things.
%
It's not the time between the takes that takes the time - it's changing your mind between the takes that takes the time. -Stage Dept.
%
It's not the time it takes to take the takes that takes the time, it's the time it takes between the takes that takes the time. -S. Spielberg
%
It's not the years, it's the mileage.
%
It's only a game!
%
Just because your paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
%
Justice for the poor is much less popular than revenge on the rich.
%
Ken Thompson can't beat Belle.  So what?  How fast can Seymour Cray add?
%
Let's just take this shortcut across this field.  That bull doesn't see us.
%
Life is a game:  whoever dies with the most toys wins.
%
Life is a mystery -- love is a dancer.
%
Lord?  We don't have no lord.  We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune.
%
Luchamos contra el Wombat, otra enemigo de la humanidad. -Frente Wombato de Liberacion Nacional
%
Machne oprating at olny tn prcnt eficientcy.
%
Money cannot buy happiness, but happiness will not buy groceries.
%
Money is a terrible thing to follow but a charming thing to meet.
%
Mr. President!  We cannot allow ... a MINE-SHAFT GAP!
%
NOT NOT NOT ALLOWED
%
Never worry the boss unnecessarily.  Don't tell him.
%
Niagara Falls is the second-biggest disappointment in a bride's life. -O. Wilde
%
Nihilism means nothing to the dancing peasants.
%
No good deed goes unpunished.  -Clare Booth Luce.
%
No mistake is too small to be fixed, but first make sure it's a mistake.
%
No note is too high to be taken down an octave.
%
No user jobs will be lost because of the crash.
%
Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
%
Nothing is impossible for the man who doesn't have to do it himself.
%
Nothing of interest ever happened on this day.
%
Nothing works.  No one knows why.  And some jerk is talking French. -Bob Lied
%
OK, I think I understand.
%
One bad apple can ruin a snake.
%
One starts life with a swelled head and ends with swelled feet. -Ezra Pound
%
Our ancestors may have been ignorant, but they were not stupid.
%
Out of the mouths of babes comes semi-digested Pablum.
%
Overall there is a smell of fried onions.  (fnord)
%
Panem et circenses, that's what the public wants.
%
Pardon me for breathing, which I never do anyway oh, God, I'm so depressed...
%
People never go there anymore; it's too crowded. -Yogi Berra
%
People who deal with bits should expect to get bitten. -Jon Bentley
%
Per omnia saecula vombatidae.
%
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday. -Don Marquis
%
Proper planning includes admitting that your plan may not work.
%
Real programmers can't say `lint' without adding `hbaxcu' -Wm Leler
%
Remember that "almost" means "not".
%
Remember when you asked me to tell you when you were being inconsiderate?
%
Rog-O-Matic callidus est.
%
Rog-O-Matic perditus est.
%
Rule 5 Violation
%
SYS ERROR 0 - no error detected
%
Schroedinger's cat is sitting on Heisenberg's shoulder and they are both laughing at you.
%
Secret mail has arrived.
%
Sex with someone you don't love is just gymnastics--and I hate exercise. -John Derek
%
Si nummi immunis.
%
So long as radicals honor theory over facts, they will continue to dismantle their successes.
%
Some books are to be tasted, others to be swallowed. -- Francis Bacon
%
Sometimes it seems to me that men are children grown incompetent. -Carl Whitaker
%
Stack overflow in crawlout.  User environment re-initialized.  (FATAL$)
%
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but a laser beam is another matter.
%
Stop worrying, you'll never get out of this world alive.
%
Subject: Re: Re: Clar ... HUMBUG! - Wrongthink st - (nf)
%
Sure [Somoza]'s a son-of-a-bitch, but he's OUR son-of-a-bitch.  -F.D. Roosevelt
%
TERROR IN THE OUTPUT FILE  A  A
%
Technological unemployment is total today -- 300 years ago we were all farmers.
%
Tell the girls to slice the ham thin.
%
That must be wonderful! I don't understand it at all.
%
The $SIGNON command is a risky practice.
%
The Beatles?  Isn't that Paul McCartney's old band?
%
The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am.
%
The Luddites always lose.  Always.
%
The Moral Majority are the people our ancestors came from Europe to escape.
%
The Tao which can be talked about is not the Tao.  -Lao Tzu
%
The UNIX system is harder to use than a toaster.  -Kaare Christian
%
The US Marines:  the Few, the Proud, the Dead on the Beach.
%
The average legislator is somewhere nearly all the time. -Herb Nore
%
The check is in the mail.
%
The common Welsh name Bzjxxllwcp is pronounced Jackson.
%
The difference between a thief and the IRS is that the thief doesn't audit you afterwards.
%
The difficult we gave up on yesterday, the impossible we are giving up on now.
%
The end justifies the meanness.
%
The human mind treats a new idea the way the body treats a strange protein - it rejects it.  -Peter Metawar
%
The map is not the territory. -A. E. Van Vogt, in World of Null-A
%
The official state animal of New York is the cabbie.
%
The official state tree of North Dakota is the telephone pole?
%
The only way out of a circle is through the center.
%
The planes in Spain fall mainly in the rain.
%
The problem with a just economy is, who runs the Bureau of Economic Justice?
%
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you have to catch up.
%
The voice of the people is odd,/It is, and it is not, the voice of God. -Pope
%
There are only three kinds of proof:  induction, exhaustion, and intimidation.
%
There is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax.
%
There used to be men and women, now there are men and persons.
%
There'll always be an England - if not it would be necessary to invent one.
%
There's a difference between ethical people and nice people.  You can't trust nice people.
%
They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist... -- last words of Gen. John Sedgewick
%
They laughed at Copernicus; they laughed at Galileo; they laughed at Bozo the Clown.
%
Things are more like they are today than they ever were before. -Dwight D Eisenhower
%
Things are more like they used to be than they are now.
%
This is a full standard Kernighan & Ritchie C compiler.
%
This machine does not exist!  Boy am I confused!
%
This system hasn't crashed in ages.
%
This time for sure!
%
This will hurt me more than it hurts you.
%
Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
%
To be clear is professional; not to be clear is unprofessional. -- Sir Ernest Gowers
%
To err is human; that's why I'm comfortable around Gods.
%
Toutes choses sont dites deja, mais comme personne n'ecoute, il faut toujours recommencer.
%
Transformation is invested with the mysterious and the painful.
%
Trust Me.
%
Two heads are better than a bath and a half.
%
Two monologues do not make a dialogue.
%
Two wrongs don't make a right.  Two Wrights make airplanes.
%
Unix is the only significant operating system whose documentation fits in a student's briefcase. -John Lions (Fixed in 4.1BSD)
%
Vocatus atque non vocatus deus aderit.
%
Vox populi, vox Dei. -Alcuin
%
WAR IS PEACE.  INFORMATION IS SLAVERY.  OUR FUTURE IS IN OUR HANDS.
%
Watch out for quantum ducks:  Quark!  Quark!
%
We are experiencing network trouble -- do not adjust your illegal descrambler.
%
We are faced with an insurmountable opportunity.  -W. Kelley
%
We can lick gravity, but sometimes the paperwork is overwhelming. -von Braun
%
We don't need a standard; Kernighan & Ritchie completely defines the language.
%
We have a really challenging assignment for you.
%
We must all hang together, or assuredly we shall all hang separately. -Franklin
%
We offer every assistance short of actual help.
%
We shall never understand one another until we reduce the language to seven words. -K. Gibran
%
We won't need reservations.
%
We'll burn that bridge when we come to it...
%
We're scientists.  We have to do things we hate -- that even sicken us.
%
What did you throw that book I wanted to be read to out of out for?
%
What do you mean the 8080 & the 6502 are incompatible?  They're both NMOS!
%
What good is someone who can walk on water if you can't follow in his footsteps?
%
What is now proved was once only imagined. -William Blake
%
When an Okie moves to California, he raises the IQ of both states.  -Will Rogers
%
When better machines are built, jks will break them, and td will bitch about it.
%
When bigger machines are built, scj will saturate them.
%
When more and more people are out of work unemployment will result. -Calvin Coolidge.
%
When you're damned if you do and damned if you don't, then DO!
%
Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I haven't tried before. -Mae West
%
Who ordered that? -I.I. Rabi on the discovery of the muon
%
Why do they have this marked "Danger, do not touch"?
%
Why polish the corners off a sphere in a roomful of cubes?
%
With the wind in the east I can tell an eagle from a hammer.
%
Wombat omnia vincet.
%
Yes, the red switch.
%
You can tell a man by the company that keeps him.
%
You can't miss it.
%
You make the megabucks, I make the nanobucks...it's YOUR problem.
%
Your opponent wouldn't fight if he didn't think he had a chance.
%
Zero is greater than minus zero, but don't ask by how much. -6600 ref. manual
%
jim is a nice editor except that it runs on the Blit. -W. Joy
%
not not not Algol
%
uuxqt cmd (rnews ) status (ucsfcgl!uucp 256)
%
Smoked carp is terrible unless you're out of smoked salmon.
%
The move of bambam functionality to the new AP bugs is re-scheduled to Friday night
%
I am a high-pressure guy, and I didn't take this job to conduct a going-out-of-business sale. - A.A. Penzias
%
When faced with two evils, one asks why only two?
%
A bad workman quarrels with his tools.
%
I think that I shall never see a billboard as lovely as a tree. -Ogden Nash
%
UNIX acts as an equalizer of the hardware playing field.  J. Scanlon
%
During 1986, UNIX will dominate the low end.  J. Scanlon
%
What did you throw that book I wanted to be read to out of about Down Under out for?
%
After all, a murderer is only an extroverted suicide.
%
The dawning of the Information Age is bringing about dramatic changes in the fundamental fabric of our civilization. - AA Penzias
%
No branch is better than its trunk.
%
The connotation depends on the beacon. - Mark V. Shaney
%
I'll eat it if I'm wrong.  I mean a potato. - Danny Sleator
%
Need a personal problem? Get a personal computer. - C. P. Killian
%
The fear of the lord was discovered before vitamins.
%
unknown troff command: We will interpret typing statements A@imp#M:@gr(s)#
%
Netnews is someone yelling "Anybody wanna buy a used car?" in a crowded theater.
%
The reason Swedes put little o's over some A's is that ontology recapitulates philology.
%
The meek shall inherit the earth -- they are pronounced "o".
%
Toto, I've a feeling we're not in any immediate danger of having just committed suicide!
%
CB is a many gendered thing.
%
Niagara Falls is the wise bird who builds her nest in a chinese computer terminal!
%
I kissed my first cigarette on the stage unless someone intends to fire it.
%
I regard an original error as better than no Moon at all.
%
Do not meddle in the mouth.
%
Androgyny recapitulates philately.
%
A more wretched hive of scum and villainy: not found.
%
All the great men are dead and I'm not feeling too well myself.
%
Aren't you glad his name wasn't Alexander Graham Siren?
%
Bosses never realize that a bottle neck is always at the top.
%
C'est dommage, mais c'est vrai.
%
Espanol tiene demasiada mucha grammatica.
%
Every good subversive does it for fun.  -Rich Rosen
%
He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.  -H.S. Thompson
%
Hodie tempum scriptire in Latinum non habeo.  Cras epistlum submissibo.
%
How did the Universe manage to go bang in such an unreasonable way? -- PCW Davies
%
I have discovered the art of deceiving diplomats; I tell them the truth and they never believe me. -Cavour
%
I love Pascal ... I'm also into leather.
%
I never refuse. I never contradict. I sometimes forget. -Disraeli
%
I'm sorry, but I've made other plans.
%
I've got a ferret sticking up my nose.
%
If it's boring, turn it off.
%
If it's gratitude you want, get a dog. -P. T. Barnum
%
If you can't find enough radiation at Ralph's, you can probably do without it.
%
It takes approximately two minutes to reposition the continents from one geological era to another.
%
It's funny how they work so well, even when
 they're not appropriate.
%
It's hard to be mellow when you can't stand up.
%
It's not a car, it's a Volkswagen.
%
It's not the years, it's the mileage.
%
Jesus Rodrigues has a 9-inch duck.
%
Just be glad you don't get all the government you pay for.  -Will Rogers
%
Look on my works, oh ye mighty, and giggle.
%
Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.
%
Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer in Northern California.
%
One man's Mede is another man's Persian.
%
Ooh, Andy Tannenbaum?  His netnews is SO derivative.
%
Reason is a universal instrument which can serve on any kind of occasion. -Descartes
%
Respect you in the morning?!  Hell, I don't even respect you now.
%
So narrow minded is the boss that he has to stack his ideas vertically.
%
That must be wonderful! I dont understand it at all.
%
That's the nice thing about standards -- there's so many to choose from. -trb
%
The human brain is not a pretty sight.
%
The tree of research must from time to time be refreshed with the blood of bean counters. -Alan Kay
%
There are two kinds of people in the world -- those who are, and those who aren't.
%
They were easy to tell apart: the good Kirk was paid by William Shatner and the evil one by Gavin McLeod.
%
They were easy to tell apart: the good Kirk wore cottons and wools and the evil Kirk wore nylons and polyesters.
%
Things always look darkest just before they go totally black.  -Col. Hannibal Smith
%
U.S. out of OAKLAND!
%
Vivaldi did not write 600 concerti grossi.  He wrote the same one 600 times. -Stravinski
%
We are faced with an insurmountable opportunity.  -W. Kelley
%
We use it but we do not love it. -Goethe
%
Why be a second rate Ravel when you can be a first rate Gershwin?
%
Why don't we store the blank punch cards on disk, and get rid of all those boxes.
%
Without alkaloids, life itself would be impossible.
%
Yesterday's sensation is today's calibration and tomorrow's background. -Valentine Telegdi
%
You know, Louie, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
%
You will get a better gorilla effect if you use as big a piece of paper as possible.
%
`Compared to academic politics, political politics is a nice, clean game.' -S. I. Hayakawa, SF Examiner 4/23/84
%
`She read her boyfriend's mind, and they're no longer going together,' Mrs. Resch added.
%
``I'm a hugger, I'm a tactile politician,'' Turner said.
%
ftp> Globbing off.
%
ftp> Globbing on.
%
Buick offers inbred american quality. -TV ad
%
We're too close to System Test.
%
A 6-char limit is like a 6-inch trout: throw it back.
%
I hope that there are sour apples in every bushel.
%
I hate programs that chdir - Boyd Roberts
%
Never attribute to malice what can be found in scientific american, under computer recreations.
%
A big book is a big nuisance. - Callimachus, librarian of Alexandria
%
4.2BSD is a nightmare about Tenex. - Ian Darwin
%
A liberal is one too open-minded to take his own side in an argument.
%
Basic is like doing arithmetic with Roman numerals. - MD McIlroy
%
ICIKL: DO I = 1 /* BY +1 FELTETELEZESEVEL */ TO 2*N;
%
A 10.0-szer 0.1 sohasem 1.0!
%
Don't forget to run "make depend"
%
2 is always smaller than 3, even for large values of 2.
%
These numbers DO NOT appear to belong to anybody: 315 323 372 375 602 765 772 903 914
%
If it isn't like TECO, it's not worth using. -Rae McLellan
%
Exercise is the Yuppie version of bulemia.
%
Your First Amendment ends where the next persons Bill of Rights begins. P. Michael Guba
%
Unix: from now on, consider it dead. -Mike O'Dell
%
"The more you drive ... the less intelligent you are." -- Miller, in Repo Man
%
Things are only as bad as they are and can only get worse if they do!
%
There is no language in our lungs.
%
We don't care, we don't have to-- we used to be the phone company.
%
If they gave me a goldfish, I would cook it. -Feng Jicai
%
These calculations even schoolchildren can master in three-four days. -Maimonides
%
Multilevel standards are like onions. They're smelly and make you cry a lot. -Ron Natalie
%
For me, UNIX is a way of being. -Armando P. Stettner
%
Plunk your magic twanger, froggy.
%
Some of us feel that there is a loss of scholarship here, and we're not too happy about it. -Irvin Lustig
%
What distinguishes good software from poor software is customer satisfaction. -Bob Yacobellis
%
itiprobe says hi
%
Options can cause undesirable operations, so it is important to ensure they are set up properly.
%
Warning: perch lorethylene may harm plastic
%
Male tyrannosaurs may have used their diminutive front legs to titillate female partners, but this will not explain why they got so small. - Gould and Lewontin
%
Rog-O-Matic's not expert enough. It could handle rogue, but it couldn't handle More.
%
Caught in --More-- loop.
%
You will make many changes before settling satisfactorily.
%
You need not worry about your future - it's going to be rotten.
%
Status: R
%
Stereotypes are one of the worst things in the world. -miteddie!nessus
%
It's the thought, if any, that counts! -Dick Grantges
%
Attend winter sheep meetings. Learning never ends!
%
If MS/DOS is the only operating system you're ever going to use, then the procedure is simple
%
A 6-char limit is like night.
%
A block grant is a nice terminal, but it will keep you awake until noon.
%
A duck with three wings and a loaf of bread is brother to the sun god.
%
About all some parents accomplish in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
%
Arabic is a mystery -- love is just a crock.
%
Every day, thousands of housewives pick up speed.
%
I kissed my first cigarette on the herpolhode lying in the invariant plane.
%
It's hard to be mellow when you bite your nails.
%
Man is in session.
%
OS 360 -- Not uranium.
%
Please log off, the computer is out to get in your room and drink?
%
System going down for 5 minutes -- back up in barrels.
%
The aim of existence is to have clean ideas, change them like shirts.
%
The meek shall inherit the earth -- they are careful to hide the fact.
%
The null string has always been a locksmith.  -Albert Einstein
%
The whole UNIX operating system whose documentation fits in a chinese computer terminal!
%
Thrashing is just before they go totally black.  -Col. Hannibal Smith
%
Time is nature's way of making more anarchy.
%
To make an omelette, you have to paint it.
%
Wars do not log out!
%
Well, the handwriting is on the Titanic, why not go gentle into that good night?
%
You're so ugly you couldn't even get a better mouse.
%
Economic analysts say that while the economy may be slowing, it
 is not fizzling out.
%
*** REPLACE THIS LINE WITH YOUR MESSAGE ***
%
he who lives by the nit dies by the pick.
%
A sharp tongue is the only edge tool that grows keener with constant use. -W. Irving
%
Critics are like eunuchs in a harem: they know how it's done, they've seen it done every day, but they're unable to do it themselves. -Brendan Behan
%
There is a 10% penalty for getting yourself killed.
%
#(cat probably won't work on 8 bit files, you  will have to use a simpler filter)
%
The barge was in my blind spot. - Peter Hobson, Cambridge cox
%
Passing over a black hole temporarily disables ship.
%
For forty days and forty nights you held the future of this country in the hollow of your head. - Australian backbencher
%
I would be perfectly happy being Kepler, [but] I have been Kepler many times over.-B. Mandelbrot
%
The lion will lie down with the lamb, but the lamb won't get much sleep.
%
uucp failed partially: 0 file(s) sent; 1 error(s)
%
uucp failed completely (11)
%
Trust him, but still keep your eyes open.
%
The Inuit have dozens of words for snow, so why do the Dutch only have one word for rain?
%
non-positive output count: .!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
%
invalid control line !!!
%
unseal: invalid length
%
bad input char: .Ppm{=P!*@)Z9oFPp|*?)Z9pv9i%Su$^J)48%K_e239GM#ffoq!!!"!Mp#V6N\H8uEgdXbP\[7j1&PJz!X76!4BA}5!!!!!"syui!!!"!Mp#V6P\Scb?p8`;!4lf&
%
values of B will give rise to dom!
%
You dialed 5483
%
Florida is the "flea and tick capital of America."
%
"RULE 7: Option arguments cannot be optional." Sys V Interface p 343.
%
The Italians make money out of funding their own deficit.
%
May I have a large container of coffee?
%
How I want a drink, alcoholic of course, after the chapters involving quantum mechanics.
%
Tu aideras a rappeler ta quantite a beaucoup de docteurs amis.
%
To express e, remember to memorize a sentence to simplify this.
%
By omnibus I traveled to Brooklyn.
%
Te ayudare a recorder la cantidad a indoctos si releesme bien.
%
Gods!  A hideous beast, baying is pursuing us!
%
Dieux!  Un monstre hideux.  En hurlant.  Nous poursuit.
%
We're going up there this weekend and I'm gonna get so roaring, stinkin', no-good drunk I won't be able to see. - mechanic in "The Blob".
%
There is a tide in the affairs of men, which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune. - Julius Caesar IV.iii.217
%
'Tis a gross error, held in schools, That Fortune always favours fools. - John Gay.
%
Fortis fortuna adiuvat. - Terence
%
Fortune, good night, smile once more, turn thy wheel! - King Lear II.ii.180
%
Nothing more certain than incertainties; Fortune is full of fresh variety: Constant in nothing but inconstancy. - Richard Barnfield.
%
Fortunes ... come tumbling into some men's laps. - Francis Bacon.
%
Distrust yourself, and sleep before you fight.  'Tis not too late tomorrow to be brave. - J. Armstrong.
%
The rich man has his motor car, His country and his town estate.  He smokes a fifty-cent cigar And jeers at Fate. - F. P. Adams
%
Nothing is capable of being well set to music that is not nonsense. - Joseph Addison.
%
Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week. - Joseph Addison.
%
These widows, sir, are the most perverse creatures in the world. - Joseph Addison.
%
We have lost our little Hanner in a very painful manner. - Max Adeler.
%
While I see many hoof-marks going in, I see none coming out. - Aesop.
%
You press the button, and we'll do the rest.
%
An Austrian army, awfully arrayed, Boldly by battery besieged Belgrade.
%
Please to remember the Fifth of November, Gunpowder Treason and Plot.
%
Good Americans, when they die, go to Paris. - Thomas Appleton.
%
usend: /usr/asp/spool filesystem is exhausted
%
If double-bubble inflation did occur, then the shadow world is exponentially uninteresting.
%
Edinburgh is the Reykjavik of the South.
%
The skeletons in the cupboard will all come out in the wash.
%
Nobody goes to the theatre unless suffering from acute bronchitis.
%
He cried at all his own weddings, and with reason.
%
Whenever I see his fingernails, I thank God I don't have to look at his feet.
%
It's deja vu all over again.
%
$! nulled, predecessor circle
%
Truth is the ultimate weapon; fortunately no one has perfected it yet. - Ken Ellis
%
Caution: Do not view laser light with remaining eye.
%
Using 4.2 in this hospital is a great idea.
%
Executive ability is in your make-up.
%
Every excess becomes a vice.
%
A philosopher does not need a torch to gather glow-worms by at mid-day. -- Earnest Bramah
%
Good fish get dull but sex is always fun. -- Mehinaku proverb
%
Accounting software is structured as a set of tools that can be used to build accounting systems.
%
dis: invalid general addressing mode (e8); notify disassembler implementor
%
Ignore the fatal errors. It's O.K.
%
grep: RE error 41: No remembered search string.
%
struct sleaziness { char *pleasure; int alchemically; };
%
Veni, vidi, maeni, mo, cacha tigrem baedas to, iffi hollers, ledem go, veni, vidi, maeni, mo.
%
cc: warning: -g disables -O
%
System went down at Fri Dec 13 21:54:56 1901
%
Dump time is unreasonable
%
Ever see what ratfor does on a syntax error in a for loop?
%
ucode rev x62
%
Make:  Don't know how to make love.  Stop.
%
A tree is best measured when it is down.
%
The pale companion is not for our pomp.
%
Make is like Pascal: everybody likes it, so they go in and change it. -DM Ritchie
%
beware of component 3730
%
